


Syndrome

by xAoneko



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cruel Language, Hints of Crushes, M/M, Mental Illness, Mentioned suicide, Psychological, Victim Blaming, insensitive speech, inspired by obsession and jekyll, mentions of traumas, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25277686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAoneko/pseuds/xAoneko
Summary: As a dream diver, Kim Jongin has seen the traumas of many people. However, he isn't prepared for what's in Park Chanyeol's dreams.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 40
Kudos: 95
Collections: Kaifectionery Round 4





	Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 19  
>  **Prompt:** Jongin is a professional Dream Diver. He dips into people's mind, wandering around their dreams to report back to their client's therapist. From small disturbances to traumatized minds, he's seen it all. A, however... is not alone in his head. Maybe this time, Jongin's own safety is on the line...
> 
>  **Author Note's:** I knew I needed to claim this prompt the moment I saw it, and I hope I was able to do it justice! Thank you to my betas who helped me edit this! I love you guys <3  
> MIND THE TAGS, PLEASE!!!  
> Please do leave a kudo/comment if you enjoy reading :3

At age twenty-six, Kim Jongin can say that he’s seen a lot of shit, and not the kind of shit that he can wrinkle his nose at first and laugh off later. It’s the kind of shit that makes his heart seize in his chest and his breath stutter in his throat; it’s the kind that sometimes keeps him awake at night and forces him to keep a list of therapists taped to his refrigerator and a well-stocked medicine cabinet of prescriptions that he has to take regularly.

When Jongin tells people that his life is like this because he’s part of the first group of people to earn a degree in dream-diving in South Korea, most look at him with incredulity, and—in nasal tones that make Jongin feel small—they say, “It can’t be _that_ bad.”

Sometimes, Jongin wishes he could go back in time and choose a different career. On his darkest days, he envies the people who don’t have the skill to see someone’s worst nightmare. He wants to erase the images he has seen of sexual assault victims reliving their horror in their sleep, of crime victims who still beg for their life before the demons living in their minds, and of silent children who only dare cry out for help while they are beaten in their dreams.

Then, there are days when Jongin would not trade his job for anything else. He takes pride in helping people with demons that the general population would rather ignore, and—as a little girl put it—in being the “angel that helps chase the monsters away.” After all, he could not forgive himself if he saw their pain—one he is familiar with—and turned away to a more convenient path.

Still, it doesn’t mean Jongin can’t breathe a sigh of relief when a client’s dreams don’t show him things that make him want to throw up his half-digested roast chicken.

Jongin’s latest client, Oh Sehun, is a friend of Jongin’s boss, Kim Junmyeon. He happens to be one of the easiest clients Jongin’s ever had. Jongin isn’t trying to dismiss Sehun’s issues as trivial, but he would much rather see Sehun’s dreams of people making fun of his lisp than watch a malnourished, seven-year-old girl suffer through a beating from a conjured-up version of her mother.

Junmyeon is aware of Jongin’s opinions, which is why Jongin suspects that the former gave him an easier client on purpose after he had to deal with a patient struggling in an alcoholic household.

Now, Junmyeon sits on the couch across the coffee table from Jongin, reading the notifications on his phone while Jongin double-checks to make sure that he brought all of the notes he took for Oh Sehun’s case.

“Jongdae is doing well in New York,” Junmyeon remarks as he swipes a thumb across the screen. “He’s already gotten the branch stable and running.”

“That’s nice,” Jongin mumbles as he peels two particularly stubborn sheets of paper apart. He’s glad that the branch in America is a success, but he barely knows Jongdae, having only met the psychiatrist once before Jongdae was boarding a plane and flying out of South Korea.

Finally having accounted for all of his notes, Jongin slides over a typed copy of his notes to Junmyeon, keeping the handwritten, messy original for himself. Junmyeon picks up the copy and scans it, taking the details in with sharp eyes.

“Oh Sehun-ssi’s dreams mostly consisted of people making fun of his lisp,” Jongin summarizes. “The people in his dreams are always young, probably around late elementary school or middle school age, so I believe he’s still affected by the bullying of his classmates from several years ago.”

“So it would seem,” Junmyeon murmurs with furrowed eyebrows.

“Something else I noticed while diving into his dreams was that his parents and his older brother were never present,” Jongin adds. “It might be nothing, but it could hint that Sehun-ssi is afraid that his parents and brother secretly resent him for having a lisp. _However_ , he has said that his parents have been supportive of him and found him a speech therapist and that his brother still finds the time to hang out with him at least two afternoons a week. I think that Sehun-ssi may be insecure about whether or not his family actually loves him or if they’re acting.”

Junmyeon hums and puts the sheet back onto the black coffee table. “Understandable. When you spend years listening to people making fun of you, your self-esteem gets seriously damaged. Plus, teenagers can be especially cruel.”

“Based on the sessions I spent with Sehun-ssi, I would recommend assigning him to Baekhyun,” Jongin suggests. “Baekhyun does well with patients who have experienced bullying in their childhood, so I think he’ll be the best person to help Sehun-ssi.”

“Agreed,” Junmyeon says as he pulls out a pen and writes down Baekhyun’s name on the notes. “I will let Baekhyun and Sehun-ssi know and arrange a meeting with them to see if they get along. Is there anything else regarding Sehun-ssi that I should know?”

“Uh.” Jongin thinks back on his sessions with Sehun, trying to remember if there is anything important that he forgot to mention. “No. There’s nothing else that I’m aware of.”

“Alright. Now, before you go,” Junmyeon smiles, “there is another case that I want to discuss with you.”

Jongin blinks and makes himself comfortable on the couch again. “Okay.”

Junmyeon doesn’t hesitate to introduce the new case. “The patient’s name is Park Chanyeol. He called yesterday to schedule an appointment, and his chief complaints are feeling short-tempered and having the urge to get violent when angry. His appointment today will just consist of an evaluation, but if it turns out that he needs therapy, then I would like to assign you to dive into his dreams so we can get to the root of his issues.”

“You want me to be present for his evaluation?” Jongin inquires.

Junmyeon nods. “That would be most convenient. This way, in case we do admit Chanyeol-ssi as a patient, you will already be in the know. We won’t have to go over everything a second time.”

“Okay,” Jongin agrees. “When is Chanyeol-ssi’s appointment?”

Junmyeon checks his phone. “He’s due to arrive in about ten minutes. Enough time for you to get a coffee,” he teases.

Jongin wrinkles his nose and pouts. “That stuff is disgusting, hyung. How can you drink something so bitter?” He gets up and rummages through Junmyeon’s cabinet. “Do you have any more of that cough medicine thing that you got from China?”

He hears Junmyeon laugh. “You want to drink _cough medicine_?” the man asks incredulously. “Are you even sick?”

Jongin finds a packet of the medicine and holds it up in defense. “But hyung, it tastes _good_ ,” he protests as he fills the electric kettle with water and sets it to boil. “Much better than that coffee you and Baekhyun-hyung are obsessed with.”

He knows Junmyeon doesn’t take him seriously when the latter shoots him an amused look that says ‘whatever floats your boat,’ but as long as Jongin can get the delicious Chinese cough medicine, he doesn’t care. The electric kettle growls as the water inside starts to boil. Jongin grabs a Styrofoam cup off the stack that Junmyeon keeps on the counter, tearing open the packet of medicine and pouring the contents into the cup. The kettle shuts off with a snap, and Jongin doesn’t wait for the hissing to die down before he starts pouring the water.

The cup is half-full when there is a tentative knock on the door. Setting the kettle down on the counter, Jongin looks at Junmyeon, who smiles and calls, “Come in!”

Jongin fidgets with his sleeves as the door opens. Park Chanyeol steps inside, a polite smile on his face and eyes wide in wonder as he gazes around the office. He sees Junmyeon first and hurries to bow and shake the psychiatrist’s hand, murmuring a greeting with a voice that reminds Jongin of the low rumbling of a distant thunderstorm.

Then, Chanyeol turns to Jongin, and Jongin feels the familiar anxiety flipping his stomach as Chanyeol approaches him with an outstretched hand. However, Chanyeol’s smile is guileless, and the way his ears stick out takes away any feeling of intimidation that his height might give him.

Jongin’s hand doesn’t tremble like it usually does as he shakes Chanyeol’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too,” he answers a little quieter than he would have liked, but Chanyeol beams at him nonetheless.

Junmyeon offers Chanyeol something to drink, and even though Chanyeol accepts a cup of cool water, he doesn’t drink from it as he sits across from Junmyeon and Jongin. Junmyeon starts the introductory session with confidence, but Jongin takes continuous sips of his medicine to avoid making eye contact with Chanyeol.

“We’re glad that you could join us today, Chanyeol-ssi,” Junmyeon says, “I’m Kim Junmyeon. I’m the one you spoke with on the phone to schedule your appointment.” He gestures to Jongin. “This is Kim Jongin. He is a dream diver. Have you heard of dream divers before?”

“I’ve heard a few things here and there on the Internet,” Chanyeol says. He still hasn’t touched his cup of water.

“Jongin’s job is to see a patient’s trauma through their dreams,” Junmyeon explains. “It helps speed up the process of identifying the source of a patient’s suffering and depending on what he sees, it can help us form an effective treatment plan early on.”

Jongin looks at Chanyeol over the rim of his cup. Most of the time, patients will reject the idea of having a dream diver, saying the procedure feels too invasive. Jongin understands their sentiments. They usually change their mind after weeks of little to no progress with therapy and reluctantly agree to let Jongin dive into their dreams once they get to know him a little better.

Therefore, Jongin is surprised when Chanyeol doesn’t bat an eye at the idea of Jongin entering his dreams. Instead, Chanyeol accepts it with a nod and a quiet ‘okay.’

“You are okay with Jongin being a part of your evaluation and your potential treatment plan?” Junmyeon asks just to be sure. “If you would rather he not be, then that is perfectly fine, too. It’s entirely your choice.”

Chanyeol nods again, a little more vigorously this time. “I’m fine with it,” he says, “If it can help me get treated quickly, then I’m okay with it.”

Junmyeon smiles at that. “Great!” he says, “So let’s get on with your session. If you could first confirm your personal information for us…”

Chanyeol takes the pen and paper that Junmyeon gives him and looks it over, rolling the pen between his fingers as he scrutinizes the information. Finding no mistakes, he puts the pen down and slides both pen and paper back to Junmyeon, who sets it aside and picks up a notepad, flipping to a blank page.

“Now, before we proceed, I just want to remind you that you do not have to answer any questions that you may feel uncomfortable answering,” Junmyeon says, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Don’t get me wrong; even if you do not tell us, you may eventually have to confront these things yourself if needed as a part of your treatment plan. We are here to guide you, but you will have to be the one to drive your own treatment. Do you have any questions?”

“Um,” Chanyeol starts, “you said that I don’t have to tell you about anything that I’m uncomfortable with, right?”

“That is correct,” Junmyeon confirms.

Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows a little, and he glances at Jongin. “But since, uh, Mister—no— _Doctor_ —”

“Just Jongin is fine,” Jongin interrupts. He tries to give Chanyeol a reassuring smile, but it feels like it came out as a grimace instead.

Chanyeol swallows and wipes his palms on his pants. “Okay, uh, since Jongin-ssi is going to be diving into my dreams, won’t you know everything even if I don’t tell you about it?”

“ _Jongin_ will know,” Junmyeon corrects gently. “There are privacy laws that say that Jongin is only allowed to tell me however much is necessary to determine your treatment. He must keep everything else to himself or he risks losing his license.”

Chanyeol glances at Jongin again as though seeking confirmation, and Jongin nods.

“Okay then,” Chanyeol says, shifting into a slightly more comfortable position on the couch. “I’m ready, I think.”

Junmyeon leans back with a soft smile and clicks his pen. “Then let’s begin,” he says, “When you called to schedule your appointment, you said that you have been feeling short-tempered lately and have been feeling urges to get violent when angry. Is this correct?”

“Yes.”

“Could you elaborate on that a little more for us?”

Chanyeol licks his lips, averting his gaze to the side. “Well,” he starts slowly. “I was always the type to easily get angry when I was younger. It sort of mellowed out around the time I started college, but recently, I’ve been getting angry over small things, like when my sister showed up at my apartment unannounced, and when my dog Toben ignores me when I call him.”

Jongin nods to himself, thinking that it is indeed a little strange to get angry over things like that. Mild annoyance makes sense, but anger definitely does not.

Meanwhile, Junmyeon jots down notes on his notepad. “Did you also feel like you wanted to get violent in those situations?”

“With my dog, yeah,” Chanyeol confesses. “Not with my sister though.”

Junmyeon writes down something else. “Are there any other changes that you’ve noticed recently? Perhaps a change in sleeping or eating habits?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “No changes in those.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says. “Were there any changes in your lifestyle before you noticed the changes in your mood? Maybe you started a new job, or you started taking a new medication?”

“I haven’t changed jobs recently, and I’m not currently taking any medications, but…” Chanyeol lowers his gaze in thought as he rubs his knuckles with a thumb. “No, I haven’t had any changes in my lifestyle.”

Jongin recognizes the signs that Chanyeol has something that he doesn’t want to talk about, and so does Junmyeon because the latter scribbles a question mark in the notepad next to the words ‘changes in lifestyle.’ However, neither of them pursue the issue further as Junmyeon continues to ask Chanyeol questions to try and pinpoint the issue.

“Have you spoken with your primary care provider about your change in mood?”

“I did,” Chanyeol confirms, rubbing the thighs of his jeans with his palms. “He, uh, thought that it might have been because of high testosterone levels in my body. He conducted some tests but they came back normal, so he referred me here to check if it’s some psychological issue instead.”

“We can definitely do that for you,” Junmyeon says as he shoots Chanyeol a smile. “Jongin is a very good dream diver, and he takes his job seriously. You’re in good hands if you decide to allow him into your dreams.”

Chanyeol chews on his lower lip, brows furrowed in thought. He glances at Jongin again. “You said that you’re bound by law to respect my privacy, right?”

The sudden question catches Jongin a little off-guard, but he manages to respond with a nod and a quiet “yes.”

Chanyeol hums a little and then turns to Junmyeon. “Okay, I’ll let him into my dreams.”

Junmyeon smiles at that, obviously pleased with Chanyeol’s decision. “Great! In that case, please read over and sign this form. It basically states that you have given us your consent for dream diving. One thing you should be aware of is that some people experience side effects with dream diving.” He points to one line on the document. “The most common side effects are confusion, nausea, and occasionally blurry vision. It usually goes away after approximately ten minutes though, so it shouldn’t bother you too much.”

“How severe are the side effects?” Chanyeol asks as he skims over the contents of the form.

“Well,” Junmyeon says, “we’ve had about sixty patients who have done dream diving. Out of those sixty, only one person had severe nausea upon waking up, so it’s very unlikely for the side effects to be severe. Jongin also knows how to prepare in case the side effects are severe, so he will make sure that you’re okay.”

Jongin clears his throat. “It’s also common for us to have a third party in the room—someone who the patient is comfortable with—to monitor the dream diving,” he explains, squirming as Chanyeol looks at him. “They will be there to help out in case something unexpected happens.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol replies, “Also, where does this dream diving take place? I heard that both the patient and the dream diver need to be asleep, so will it happen here or…?”

“We allow the patient to choose,” Junmyeon says, “We have a room designated for dream diving, but if you would prefer your own home, then that’s fine as long as we have your address on file.”

Some of the tension leaves Chanyeol’s frame. “Okay, that’s good to hear,” he says. “I always have trouble sleeping anywhere that’s not at home, so I’d like to do the dream diving at home. I saw that you have my address, so it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“No problem at all,” Junmyeon replies. “When would you like your first dream diving session?”

“Do you do weekends?”

“I’m available this Saturday,” Jongin says.

“Is morning okay?” Chanyeol asks. “Ten-thirty?”

A part of Jongin cries a little at the loss of sleeping time, but he nods and repeats, “Ten-thirty.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol fiddles with his phone, no doubt putting the session into his calendar. “How long does the dream diving usually take?”

“Uh.” Jongin scratches the back of his neck as he tries to remember his past sessions. “Including setting up and stuff, around thirty minutes? Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Chanyeol says. “You said the third party in the session should be someone I’m familiar with, so does that mean I can ask my sister to monitor the session?”

“If your sister wants to monitor, then yeah, she can do that,” Jongin confirms. “She won’t have to do much aside from making sure nothing interrupts our session and calling the hospital if either of us have severe side effects after waking up.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know.” Chanyeol puts his phone away and glances from Jongin to Junmyeon. “Is there anything else?”

“Not from us,” Junmyeon replies. “Is there anything else _you_ want to discuss?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “No, I think I’m good.”

“In that case, the session is finished.” Junmyeon closes his notepad and smiles. “Thank you so much for stopping by, Chanyeol-ssi. We will do our best to help you.”

“Thank you for your time,” Chanyeol says to Junmyeon and shakes his hand before turning to Jongin and repeating the gesture.

“See you on Saturday,” Jongin smiles.

“Yes, see you on Saturday.” Chanyeol beams back and then adds, “If you get lost on the way to my address, feel free to call me. The number that you have on file is my cell.”

They say their last goodbyes, and Chanyeol leaves, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Junmyeon goes to his computer and starts typing, logging into the system so that he can create a profile for Chanyeol. Jongin ambles over and glances over the sheet of paper containing Chanyeol’s info and copies down his address and phone number.

“How do you feel about your Saturday session?” Junmyeon asks.

“I think I’ll be fine,” Jongin answers as he sends Chanyeol a text. “Chanyeol-ssi doesn’t seem like a bad guy. Plus, I have my chip. I’m running out of ginger tea though, so I’ll need to get some more of that today.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go do that then,” Junmyeon says, eyes not leaving his screen. “Don’t forget to tell Baekhyun where you’ll be on Saturday.”

Jongin pauses on his way out. “Isn’t Baekhyun-hyung off until next week?”

Junmyeon’s fingers stop for a moment and then resume their typing. “Ah, right, right. Okay, I’ll let him know then. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay. Bye, hyung.”

The days fly by and soon, Jongin finds himself standing in front of the door to Chanyeol’s apartment, waiting for someone to answer the door. He swings the plastic bag in his hand a little as he waits, glancing up and down the hall until he hears the rhythmic footsteps coming from the other side of the door. He stills himself as he hears a short clack of the door unlocking, then the knob jiggles, door swinging inward to reveal Chanyeol.

“Hi!” Chanyeol says with a toothy smile as he steps aside to let Jongin in. “I hope my place wasn’t hard to find.”

“It was fine,” Jongin answers as he takes off his shoes. “You have a nice place.”

He hadn’t thought that it was possible for Chanyeol to get any brighter, but the latter proves him wrong as his grin widens. “Did you see the fountain in the courtyard?” he asks. “Everyone loves that thing.”

A second set of footsteps—softer than Chanyeol’s—catches Jongin’s attention, and he looks up to see a young woman entering the living room, bearing a striking resemblance to Chanyeol as she smiles at Jongin. Jongin figures that this must be Chanyeol’s sister.

“Hello,” he greets with a polite bow.

“Hello,” she replies. “Kim Jongin-ssi, right? I’m Chanyeol’s older sister, Yura. Chanyeollie told me you two needed someone to monitor the session…?”

“Yes, we do,” Jongin confirms, and when Yura lets out a concerned hum, he quickly adds, “It’s nothing difficult. I’ll be explaining what we need you for before I dive into Chanyeol-ssi’s dreams.”

She looks more relieved at that and says, “Oh, that’s good because I have no experience with this psychiatry stuff. I’m worried that I’ll mess something up.”

Jongin chuckles a little. “You don’t need to worry about that. The things you need to do are more for our comfort. They’re not actually essential for dream diving, so even if you forget something, it won’t harm us or anything.”

He cuts himself off when he feels something moving at his ankle, and he looks down to see a small, black dog sniffing at his feet. It looks up when Jongin moves his foot, gazing up at him with round, black eyes and a pink tongue lolling out of its mouth.

“Oh, that’s Toben!” Chanyeol says a little nervously. “Sorry, I should have asked if you’re okay with dogs. If it makes you more comfortable, we can put him in the kitchen and shut the gate while you’re here…”

The sight of the dog coaxes Jongin into letting down his professionalism for a moment, and he kneels on the floor to hold out his hand for Toben to sniff. “He’s so cute!” Jongin croons as Toben licks one of his fingers. “You said his name is Toben? Hi, Tobennie, I’m Jonginnie. You’re a handsome boy, aren’t you?”

“I don’t think we have to worry about Jongin-ssi being afraid of dogs,” Yura says, shooting Chanyeol an amused look.

“Wow, he likes everyone except me,” Chanyeol grumbles reproachfully. “Even someone he’s only met for thirty seconds gets more love than I do.”

Jongin laughs. “I love dogs,” he says. “I have three of them. They live with my older sisters in Suncheon though. I drive up about once every two weeks to visit.” He gives Toben a final pat on the head before standing up. “Right, Tobennie can wait a while for some more pats. Shall we get started with the session?”

He begins to set up for the session, explaining how he usually has his patients set up the room. He helps Chanyeol and Yura lay out a spare mattress and sheets in Chanyeol’s bedroom next to Chanyeol’s bed and tells Yura that even though she’s monitoring their session, she doesn’t have to stay in the room the entire time.

“Your job comes after the session is over,” Jongin explains. “Common side effects of dream diving are confusion, nausea, and blurry vision. Patients often experience headaches as well, so you just need to keep an eye on us until the side effects go away. Make sure we don’t do anything reckless in our confusion, you know?” He reaches into his plastic bag and pulls out a box of the ginger tea he had bought a couple days ago. “I also brought this tea because it’s supposed to help settle the stomach. I actually don’t get very nauseous, but just in case Chanyeol-ssi feels sick when he wakes up…”

Yura accepts the box with a smile. “I’ll be sure to brew some before the session ends. Thank you, Jongin-ssi.”

Having explained everything, Jongin gets into bed, crawling under the extra blanket that Yura had dug out from the depths of Chanyeol’s closet. Chanyeol is already comfortable in his own bed, eyes closed as he tries to fall asleep. When Chanyeol’s breathing finally evens out, Jongin closes his eyes as well.

The settings of dreams no longer scare Jongin. When he had first dived into someone else’s dream, he panicked when he found himself submerged in water, unable to escape the deep blue pressing in on him from all sides, only to feel foolish when he realized that the surroundings won’t harm him. Now, he only flinches slightly when he sees the scenery that greets him in Chanyeol’s dream.

There is a lot of red. It’s not a bold, deep red like blood, but Jongin can see a red shadow hovering over everything, making the area look like a painting with an orange overlay.

He looks down and mutters a curse at the sight of magma peeking up at him through the cracked earth. The liquid fire flows slowly, simmering like a nest of agitated snakes, waiting for the right moment to erupt from its confines.

Jongin tears his gaze away from the magma and looks around, searching for Chanyeol. He sees no sign of his patient, but he does catch sight of what looks like wisps of black smoke moving through the air. The wisps come from everywhere, unwrapping themselves from the bare trees and extending long fingers from the cracks in the ground. They don’t seem to do much of anything except float about to some unknown breeze, although a few of the thicker tendrils merge into larger shapes that Jongin can’t make sense of.

Then, he notices the whispers. He can’t pinpoint where they come from and can’t tell what they’re saying. It unsettles him because occasionally, one of the voices will say something in his ear, sending shivers crawling up Jongin’s spine, but when Jongin looks around, there will be no one there.

The thing that worries him the most, however, is the feeling that someone is watching him. He can sense their stare piercing his back. His instincts tell him that whoever it is isn’t a friend, and he can’t shake off the sensation no matter where he goes, yet whoever it is never appears before him, content with making Jongin squirm from a distance. He’s almost relieved when he resurfaces from Chanyeol’s dream despite having seen very little of significance.

He lies on the mattress quietly, not bothering to open his eyes as he listens to the muffled sound of Yura’s and Chanyeol’s voices. His stomach is a little restless from the session, but it’s easy for Jongin to ignore the faint queasiness. His head, however, feels like a balloon floating in midair rather than resting on the pillow Chanyeol had handed him before the session started.

“Jongin-ssi?” Yura calls softly from beside his bed.

“Uh?” Jongin responds groggily, opening his eyes to a blurry outline of Yura’s face. His head spins a little.

“I know you said you don’t get very nauseous, but I made a cup of ginger tea for you,” Yura says. Jongin hears the clack of a cup on the bedside table. “I’m leaving it here for you in case you want to drink it later, okay?”

Jongin mumbles an acknowledgment and adds, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” Jongin can hear a smile in Yura’s voice. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“I’m okay,” Jongin says. His head doesn’t feel like a whirling top anymore. “How is Chanyeol-ssi?”

“Chanyeollie is doing okay. He’s mostly complaining of a headache,” Yura answers. “Do you have any recommendations for that?”

Jongin closes his eyes and mimes rubbing at the sides of his head. “Massage the temples.”

“Thanks,” Chanyeol’s deep voice comes from behind Yura, and Jongin figures that he must be trying out the advice.

“I’ll give you some time to recover now,” Yura says, and Jongin senses her walking away. “Let me know if you need anything.”

It never takes long for Jongin’s side effects to go away, so he finds himself sitting up in bed after about three minutes of resting. The ginger tea that Yura made him is still relatively warm, so Jongin gulps it down, not wanting Yura’s gesture to go to waste.

Once Chanyeol recovers as well, the three of them sit around the table in Chanyeol’s living room while Jongin jots down notes on what he experienced in Chanyeol’s dream.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t see anything that could determine the cause of your change in mood,” Jongin admits. “I saw wisps of what looks like smoke in your dreamscape, but they didn’t tell me anything.”

“Dreamscape…” Chanyeol repeats. “Is that like the setting of my dream or something?”

“That’s exactly it,” Jongin confirms. “You should have seen it as well. Your dreamscape is pretty orange, and it looked like a very dry place.”

“Yeah, I saw that,” Chanyeol says. “It was a little scary, especially when I saw the magma.”

Jongin smiles. “Yes, people tend to find it scary the first time, but it’s okay. Your dreamscape won’t hurt you. I can promise that.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear,” Chanyeol replies, looking relieved.

“Did you happen to see me while you were in your dreamscape?” Jongin asks.

Chanyeol shakes his head. “No, it was just me there. Was I supposed to see you?”

“It’s not required,” Jongin reassures. “Some patients do end up finding me, and some don’t. It doesn’t affect the quality of the dream diving.” He scribbles one last note. “Do you have a preferred day for your second session?”

“Can we do next Saturday?”

“I’m actually off next Saturday. Would Friday or Sunday work for you instead?” Jongin asks.

Chanyeol exchanges a look with Yura. “Then, I think Sunday should work fine…?”

“Sunday works for me,” Yura confirms.

They schedule the second session for next Sunday afternoon, and Jongin makes sure that they don’t have any other questions before he waves goodbye and starts heading for his next appointment.

He reports the results of Chanyeol’s session to Junmyeon the next day.

“That is interesting,” Junmyeon says once Jongin had finished explaining everything. “The black wisps aren’t very common, and this is the first time you’ve encountered disembodied whispering in a patient’s dreamscape, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Jongin confirms. “I can’t remember any other sessions where I’ve heard whispering.”

“I can’t remember you telling me about any whispering either,” Junmyeon adds. “You also said you had a feeling that someone was watching you?”

Jongin nods. “Yes, and I asked Chanyeol-ssi if he had seen me while he was in his dreamscape, and he said he hadn’t.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon mutters, eyes roving over the sheet of notes that Jongin had presented him at the start of the session. “Have you scheduled a second session with Chanyeol-ssi already?”

“He’s scheduled for next Sunday afternoon at one-thirty.”

“Good, good.” Junmyeon nods in approval. “And what do you think of all this?”

Jongin sighs and leans back against the couch, gazing up at the ceiling. “Frankly, I’m a little nervous since it’s the first time I heard the whispering and felt like I was being watched, but I also want to know what it means. I think the black smoke will probably tell me Chanyeol-ssi’s trauma though since they kept forming these strange figures when I was dream diving.”

“We’ll definitely need to keep monitoring that,” Junmyeon agrees. “I’ll leave it to you then. Hopefully, we can get something more out of the second session.”

A week later, Jongin finds himself observing the twisting tendrils of black smoke again. They seem more volatile this time, coiling around themselves more vigorously like the way long hair whips about against a strong wind. The whispers are shriller but still incoherent, so Jongin mostly ignores them in favor of the smoke.

Whatever is watching him is also hovering in the background, gazing at him as he stares at the contorting shapes.

“Oh, I found you!”

Jongin whips around to see Chanyeol approaching him. “You did,” he agrees. “Were you looking for me?”

Chanyeol smiles shyly. “I was,” he admits. “It’s a little scary wandering around my dreamscape alone, so I wanted some company. Is that okay? I won’t disturb you or anything?”

“No, you’re good,” Jongin tells him. “As of now, I’m just waiting to see if your dreamscape will reveal anything to me. The smoke is a little more energetic this session, so I’m hopeful.”

Chanyeol nods at that and looks at the smoke as well, silence falling between them as they wait. After what feels like an eternity, Jongin finally sees something.

The black smoke takes on the shape of a person. He can’t tell if it’s a man or a woman, but it looks like the person is clinging onto something, feet dangling as they try not to fall. Then, Jongin’s gaze moves up and he realizes what the dreamscape is showing him.

It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, but it leaves him sick to the stomach all the same.

The figure dissipates as quickly as it formed, but Chanyeol’s hand bumps into Jongin’s elbow as the man turns around with his other hand over his mouth. He looks like he’s going to be sick, and there are already tears running down his face. Jongin follows him, silently hovering behind Chanyeol while his patient’s shoulders shake with silent sobs. Hesitantly, Jongin places his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, and when Chanyeol doesn’t shake him off, he rubs Chanyeol’s back to offer support in the face of Chanyeol’s grief.

“Sorry,” Chanyeol forces out, voice thick as he tries to reign in his emotions. “Sorry, I should have warned you. I know you probably didn’t sign up for this, but I really didn’t feel ready to talk about it and that’s no excuse because you probably weren’t ready for this either and I just…sorry.”

Suicide—and mental illnesses in general—is never easy to talk about. It doesn’t make a difference if Jongin talks about it with one person or with fifty people, but there is always that fear that he might say the wrong thing and accidentally hurt the person. However, it upsets him more when someone is suffering and apologizes because they feel like their suffering is making others uncomfortable.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Jongin tells Chanyeol. “Your grief is valid and _never_ an inconvenience. The death of a family member is always difficult to talk about, especially if it’s someone you cared a lot about, so it’s reasonable for you to feel like you aren’t ready to talk about it.”

Just like that, Chanyeol’s shoulders sag as though Jongin had lifted a huge burden off him. He takes a shuddering breath and starts talking, “My dad…hung himself two years ago. We don’t know why. He didn’t leave a note.”

Jongin nods even though Chanyeol isn’t looking at him.

“People attended the funeral and gave their condolences to my mom. They were…so nice about it, and it helped my mom cope,” Chanyeol pauses before his voice hardens. “And then a few months afterwards, we found out that they were laughing about it behind our backs!”

Jongin’s hand stops moving.

“Can you imagine?” Chanyeol continues, raw anger bleeding into his tone. “These people held my mother’s hands and told her how sorry they were that her husband committed suicide, and when they’re with their own families, they say things about how she must have not been a very good wife or how much they pity her for marrying a man so weak!” He struggles with his words a bit, choking on the hurt and resentment that had been building up for so long, before he finally blurts out, “I hate them so much!”

Jongin doesn’t know what to say and can only murmur, “I’m sorry you had to go through that pain. Yura-ssi and your mother, too. It must have hurt a lot.”

Chanyeol doesn’t respond for a long time, and Jongin is starting to worry that his words haven’t been enough, but when Chanyeol starts talking again, he sounds a lot calmer than before.

“You know, you’re the first person who hasn’t told me to get over it,” Chanyeol admits. “The few others that I’ve talked to about it always said that there’s nothing I can do about what other people say and to just ignore the gossip, and…I guess it just felt like they weren’t really _acknowledging_ it, you know?”

He wipes his face with his arm and turns to face Jongin. “But you made me feel seen, and I know it’s just your job, but still. Thank you.” He bows his head and scoffs. “This is actually the best I’ve felt in ages.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Jongin says, urging Chanyeol to raise his head. “Really, you don’t.”

Chanyeol gazes at him with an indecipherable expression, eyes still wet from unshed tears. He looks like he’s about to say something, but the session ends abruptly and Jongin finds himself blinking awake to Chanyeol’s ceiling.

He can hear Yura fussing over Chanyeol, and then there’s the shuffling of footsteps approaching his bed and the clack of Yura placing a cup on the bedside table. Knowing that she must have made ginger tea again, Jongin murmurs his thanks before the sound of her footsteps fades to the kitchen.

Once Jongin’s head stops spinning, he blinks open his eyes and slowly pushes himself into a sitting position. Chanyeol is already sitting up, rubbing his head with one hand.

“How are you feeling?” Jongin asks, careful to keep his voice low so that he doesn’t aggravate Chanyeol’s headache.

He doesn’t think much of it when Chanyeol freezes, but as the latter raises his head and glares at Jongin, something in Jongin’s gut goes cold.

“Get out.”

Jongin doesn’t move at first, too stunned with Chanyeol’s sudden change in attitude to come up with a response. The venom in Chanyeol’s voice leaves him reeling, as though someone had suddenly yanked the floor out from under his feet, leaving Jongin floundering for his balance.

Tentatively, he scoots out from under the covers and faces Chanyeol. “Chanyeol-ssi,” he begins timidly, “is something—?”

“I said get out!” Chanyeol suddenly roars, and the volume makes Jongin flinch and cower. “We don’t want you here! We don’t _need_ you here!”

The deep thrall of Chanyeol’s voice fades to the sound of hurried footsteps, and Yura stops in the doorway, eyes wide as she looks from Chanyeol to Jongin. “What’s going on?” she asks. “Chanyeollie, why are you yelling?”

Chanyeol doesn’t seem to hear her, gaze still fixed on Jongin. “Leave, and don’t come back,” he snarls, “We don’t need your fucking help!”

Jongin thinks that something must have happened for Chanyeol’s thinning temper to finally snap, but he has no idea what he could have said or done to cause it to break. Yura seems just as baffled as she tugs on Jongin’s arm and ushers him out of the room and to the front door.

“Did something happen?” she asks in a low voice. “I haven’t seen Chanyeollie yell at anyone like that since he was in middle school.”

Jongin scratches his head. “I don’t know? I’m not sure if I said or did something that upset him since he seemed fine in the dreamscape, but if I did upset him, I’d like to apologize. It wasn’t my intention.”

Yura smiles a little at that. “Are you okay though? I know that Chanyeollie can be scary when he yells.”

His hands are still a little shaky, but Jongin insists that he’s fine and Yura doesn’t press the matter. She sees him off, promising to talk to Chanyeol and have him contact Jongin once he has calmed down.

Chanyeol doesn’t contact him right away, and Jongin doesn’t expect him to. Instead, he focuses on doing his job, which is reporting the events of the second dream diving session to Junmyeon, who looks at Jongin in concern.

“That sounds scary. Are you okay?” Junmyeon asks. “Maybe I should suggest that Chanyeol-ssi use our designated dream diving room for his sessions in the future. It will be safer for you.”

“I don’t know. Will he even want to continue his sessions? He was very angry, and I don’t know what I did wrong,” Jongin confesses. “His sister said that she would talk to him, and I haven’t heard from them since so I don’t know what’s going on.”

Junmyeon hums. “You said that he was fine when you two were in his dreamscape, but he started yelling at you once the session ended?” Once Jongin nods, he continues, “Did you notice any signs that Chanyeol-ssi was unsatisfied with something? Maybe a brief change in his expression…?”

“I didn’t notice anything.”

Junmyeon nods slowly as he once again looks over the notes that Jongin had given him at the beginning of their meeting. There is a furrow in his brow that tells Jongin that the psychiatrist is thinking hard.

He gives Junmyeon a few moments of silence and then prompts, “What are you thinking?”

Junmyeon sucks in a long breath, placing the notes on the tabletop and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have a suspicion. Are you familiar with the Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome?”

It feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice-water over Jongin’s head. “JH Syndrome? You think Chanyeol-ssi has that?”

“I think it’s possible.” Junmyeon jabs at the notes with his pen. “Father’s suicide, stabbed in the back by people who seemed sympathetic, plus you told me that he didn’t feel like his suffering was acknowledged until he spoke to you, so it’s likely there’s been a huge toll on his mental health. We know that South Korea isn’t the best when it comes to being respectful about mental illness.”

Jongin doesn’t want to agree, but now that he’s thinking about it, all the signs are pointing towards the Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome, especially the feeling of being watched whenever he entered Chanyeol’s dreamscape.

“It does look like Chanyeol-ssi is still in the early stages of JH Syndrome though,” Junmyeon remarks. “Do one last dream diving session with him and see if you can confirm. If he calls me and wants to stop the sessions, I’ll try and convince him to do one more.”

“Okay,” Jongin murmurs. “I’ll do my best.”

Junmyeon must be a psychic because that evening as Jongin is about to eat dinner, he gets a call from Chanyeol. Jongin freezes with a piece of chicken against his lips as he watches Chanyeol’s name flash across the screen, feeling the anxiety coursing through his veins as his phone vibrates on the table.

After a few seconds of working up the courage to answer, he finally puts his chicken down and picks up. “Hello?”

“Jongin-ssi?” The familiar timbre of Chanyeol’s voice greets him, and Jongin exhales a silent sigh of relief. Chanyeol doesn’t sound angry.

“I’m glad to hear from you, Chanyeol-ssi,” Jongin says. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m—I’m doing well, I think,” Chanyeol fumbles. “I wanted to call and talk about our last session. When I lost my temper with you.”

Jongin swallows. “Okay.”

“I want to apologize. I don’t know what came over me that day, and I know that’s no excuse!” Chanyeol hurriedly adds. “But I know that I can be scary when I yell, so I’m sorry that I yelled at you, especially after you helped me so much…”

Truth be told, Jongin had already forgiven Chanyeol, so accepting the apology isn’t a difficult feat for him at all. “I was worried that I had said something that upset you,” Jongin confesses. “I was ready to apologize if I had.”

“No, no!” Chanyeol denies. “You’ve been absolutely amazing. I think that all the stress from my dad’s death and stuff just built up, and I ended up taking it out on you. I’m sorry about that, and I understand if you don’t want to do the dream diving with me anymore.”

“Don’t worry about that, Chanyeol-ssi,” Jongin reassures. “You’re not the first patient to yell at me, but you’re one of the few to apologize for it. I don’t hold it against you.”

He hears an intake of breath, as though Chanyeol is about to argue, but the other only utters a meek, “Okay.”

Jongin takes advantage of the lapse to divert the conversation. “Since I have you on the line, how about we schedule your next dream diving session? Junmyeon thinks that he’s close to having a definite diagnosis for you.”

“Really?” Chanyeol sounds eager. “That’s great! Could we do Saturday?”

“Sure,” Jongin confirms. “Saturday afternoon? Is two-thirty fine?”

“Two-thirty works for me,” Chanyeol says. “I’ll see you then.”

They hang up, and Jongin saves the appointment in his phone and messages Junmyeon before returning to his dinner, chest feeling several times lighter than before.

Chanyeol’s familiar smile greets Jongin on Saturday afternoon, although he still seems nervous about what happened during their last session. Jongin doesn’t bring it up as he asks about Toben and how Chanyeol and Yura have been doing for the past week, hoping that the small talk can get Chanyeol to relax a bit. Luckily, it seems to work because Chanyeol manages to fall asleep pretty quickly compared to their previous sessions, and Jongin follows not long after.

Chanyeol’s dreamscape has changed. The black wisps that had been present are gone along with the whispering, and the cracks in the earth have widened. Lava now runs in little rivulets across the dry earth, burning the patches of grass in its path. Jongin shies away from a particularly scary-looking pit of liquid fire that spits and belches at him, and then something heavy hits his back and sends him toppling to the ground with a yelp.

He turns to face his assailant, and the exclamation that had been dancing on the tip of his tongue dies as he stares up at the man in dread. He knows that this must have been the entity watching him during the last two sessions, glaring at Jongin with resentful eyes as Jongin tried to find the root of Chanyeol’s mood changes.

With a sneer, the man drops to the ground and seizes Jongin despite the latter’s efforts to flee. Jongin tries to fight back, but the man is strong and easily overpowers him, pinning Jongin to the ground with a knee to the chest as his hands squeeze Jongin’s neck.

“I _told_ you,” Chanyeol snarls as he slowly crushes Jongin’s windpipe, “to _stay the fuck away_. We don’t need you meddling with our life!”

Jongin claws at Chanyeol’s hands, but his efforts are fruitless. This Chanyeol stares at him with eyes filled with hatred and resentment, curling his lip in the face of Jongin’s fear and desperation, and Jongin realizes that this must have been the Chanyeol who had yelled at him after their last session. It’s Chanyeol, but it’s not really Chanyeol.

Jongin is starting to think that he’s going to spend the rest of the dream diving session gasping for air when he hears another Chanyeol shout, “Get off him!”

The lookalike looks up and releases Jongin, jumping away in time to dodge a shove from the real Chanyeol. Chanyeol stumbles and quickly plants himself between Jongin and his lookalike, protecting Jongin while the latter coughs and sputters as he recovers his breath.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol shrieks. “Are you trying to kill him?”

Jongin looks up at the two Chanyeols standing before him, watching as the lookalike gives Chanyeol a look of disgust, and knows that Junmyeon’s suspicion is true.

“What am I doing?” the lookalike repeats. “Do you really think he’s not actually like all of the others? Don’t you know that people in the healthcare industry are trained to give empathetic responses even if they don’t truly understand their patients? He’s going to abandon us just like everyone else has!”

“You can’t prove that!” Chanyeol retorts. “You can’t read his thoughts!” He turns his back on his lookalike and helps Jongin up, voice softening considerably as he asks if Jongin is okay.

“You can’t read his thoughts either!” Chanyeol’s lookalike spits back. “Are you going to wait for him to abandon you before you admit that he’s no different from the others?”

Chanyeol ignores him in favor of Jongin. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I didn’t realize that he would be here or that he would be violent. I’m really sorry.”

Jongin massages his neck as he scrutinizes Chanyeol’s lookalike, who stares back at him with disdain. “You don’t seem very surprised to see another you in your dreamscape.”

Chanyeol hangs his head. “I looked up my symptoms on the Internet. I wanted to be mentally prepared for whatever Junmyeon-ssi diagnosed me with.” He glances up at Jongin from beneath his eyelashes. “This is that…Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome, right?”

Jongin swallows. “I’m not allowed to officially diagnose you with anything, so we’ll have to see what Junmyeon says…but I say it’s JH Syndrome, yes.”

Chanyeol sighs shakily. “I’m…not surprised, really. I read about how people develop JH Syndrome, and I fit all the criteria. I honestly think I would be more surprised if I didn’t have it.” He glances at his lookalike. “There’s no cure?”

“No, only treatment,” Jongin says apologetically. He feels guilty, even though none of this is his fault.

“Okay,” Chanyeol says, sounding like he’s trying to comfort himself. “Are you going to tell my sister?”

Chanyeol looks terrified at the idea of Yura finding out about his JH Syndrome. Jongin shakes his head. “If you don’t want me to tell her, then I won’t tell her, but I still recommend letting her know so that you’ll have someone to be your support system.”

“I know,” Chanyeol sighs. “I want to tell her on my own terms, but I’m scared of how she’ll react. I read stories online about how prejudiced people are against people with JH, and I’m scared that she’ll tell our mom and they’ll disown me or something.”

“That’s definitely scary,” Jongin agrees. “But honestly, if Yura-ssi has stuck with you for the past dream diving sessions, then I don’t think she’d abandon you for having JH Syndrome.”

Chanyeol’s lookalike makes a disgruntled noise, and Jongin glances at him, worried that he might get violent again, but the lookalike merely glares at Jongin without a sound.

Jongin decides to take the first step. “I’m Kim Jongin,” he says to the lookalike. “I know that other people have hurt you a lot in the past, and I can’t erase your wounds, but I’ll do my best to help you heal.”

The lookalike’s glare doesn’t soften as he continues to stare at Jongin with distrust. There is no sign of him budging, even after Chanyeol sighs and says, “Come on. He’s one of the only ones who hasn’t shamed us for dad’s suicide. I’m willing to trust him.”

Chanyeol’s lookalike curls his lip, but if he says anything, Jongin doesn’t hear it because the session ends then, plunging Jongin and Chanyeol back into the real world.

“Oh, no,” Junmyeon sighs when Jongin gives him the report. There is a worried crease on his brow as he reads over the notes.

Across the table, Jongin bounces his leg as he waits for Junmyeon to finish reading. “We take patients with JH Syndrome, right?” he asks after Junmyeon doesn’t say anything else, impatience and worry making him reluctant to wait.

“We do,” Junmyeon confirms. “I’ll call Chanyeol-ssi and set up an appointment so we can discuss his diagnosis and treatment options with him. We need to start as soon as possible.”

That means Jongin will have to stay in the office longer on Tuesday, but if it means they can properly inform Chanyeol about his diagnosis and treatment, then Jongin isn’t going to complain.

Chanyeol comes in alone on Tuesday morning. Just like with his first appointment, he carries himself with an air of nervousness as he listens to Junmyeon explain what to expect with JH Syndrome.

“The second you in your dreamscape is what we refer to as a secondary identity,” Junmyeon says. “It’s a reservoir of resentment that often develops from unresolved trauma. It’ll continue to grow stronger if we ignore it, and it might try to take over and become the primary identity. That’s something we definitely don’t want because it means that you won’t be in control anymore.”

“You said the secondary identity is a reservoir of resentment,” Chanyeol says. “Does that mean that it’s likely to be more violent or something if it takes over?”

“Yes and no. Not all secondaries are violent, but even nonviolent secondaries prove troublesome because they’re often very uncooperative and self-centered,” Junmyeon clarifies. “In South Korea, where community is important, these secondaries are often ostracized, which really doesn’t help anyone.”

He hands Chanyeol a sheet of paper, which Jongin recognizes to be the handout with information on treatments. “For patients with JH Syndrome, we have two concurrent treatments,” Junmyeon explains. “The first is what we call suppression therapy, where we will work with you to strengthen your willpower. Since there is a risk that your secondary identity will try to take over, we need to prepare you to fight back.”

Chanyeol nods as he skims over the paper. “How does the suppression therapy work?”

“You’ll be working with me,” Junmyeon says with a smile. “We’ll be going through weekly exercises to work on your willpower, and I recommend that you do these exercises at home as well. I will be monitoring your progress the entire time to adjust your regimen as needed.”

Chanyeol nods again. “Ah, okay. What’s the second treatment then?”

“The second treatment is called placation.” Junmyeon reaches over and flips the paper, revealing the information printed on the back. “Here, we will be trying to build trust with the secondary identity and quell some of its resentment. This is a critical component of treatment because it can help us eventually convince the secondary identity to become dormant.”

Chanyeol bites his lip. “Okay,” he says slowly. “Are you going to be helping me with this, too?”

“Oh, no,” Junmyeon denies. “The dream diver is responsible for placation, so Jongin will be working with you for this.”

The look of relief on Chanyeol’s face is so prominent that Jongin and Junmyeon can’t help but smile. “You look very happy about that,” Junmyeon teases lightly.

The tips of Chanyeol’s ears turn a little red as he hides a grin behind his hand. “I’m just glad because Jongin-ssi is easy to work with. Even my sister likes him a lot.”

It’s Jongin’s turn to be embarrassed as Junmyeon looks at him proudly. “A lot of patients say that about him. He’s one of the best I’ve ever met.” He clicks his pen and puts it down on the table. “Do you have any questions about how treatment will work, Chanyeol-ssi?”

The discussion over the schedule and costs of the treatment goes by swiftly. When the appointment ends, Chanyeol looks far less worried than he did at the beginning. He thanks Junmyeon and Jongin with a smile that pushes his ears back before leaving Junmyeon’s office.

Since it’s nearly lunchtime, Jongin follows him out. They walk to the front entrance together, and as they pass through the lobby together, Jongin asks, “Have you told your sister about your diagnosis yet?”

“Ah, not yet,” Chanyeol admits, averting his gaze. “I tried after our last session, but…I couldn’t do it.”

Jongin gives him a consoling pat on the arm. “I get it. If you ever need any help, just give me a call.”

“Thank you,” Chanyeol says, and he looks at Jongin with utmost sincerity, “for everything you’ve done for me so far. I appreciate it. Really.” He opens the door, steps outside, and waves at Jongin. “See you around, Jongin-ssi.”

Jongin watches him go with a small smile, waving even though Chanyeol can’t see him anymore. He waits until Chanyeol is out of sight before he lowers his arm and massages the center of his chest, smile dissolving into a worried frown.

“ _I_ am in control,” he murmurs.

“Well, I sure hope you are!”

Jongin jumps and spins around to see Baekhyun watching him with a playful smile. The latter brushes a stray lock of hair out of his face and asks, “So what’s up with you? Why wouldn’t you be in control?”

“Ah, it’s nothing important, hyung.” Jongin quickly brushes it off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Baekhyun blinks at him, and the easygoing grin is back on his face. “Alright then. So, are you ready for lunch?”

Byun Baekhyun is the noisiest person Jongin knows. He talks nonstop when he’s awake and apparently doesn’t stop talking even in his sleep. His presence is a constant of the hoarse rasping that is his voice, despite doctor’s orders to rest his voice as much as possible, and even now, Jongin eyes the lidocaine patch on Baekhyun’s neck in concern. He knows better than to try and get Baekhyun to quiet down though. If Junmyeon and Baekhyun’s doctor had both failed, then Jongin doesn’t expect to succeed either.

“Is Sehun-ssi doing okay?” Jongin asks after he swallows a bite of his sandwich.

“He’s doing great!” Baekhyun says cheerily as he smacks loudly on his fried rice. “I’ve seen a huge improvement in his confidence levels and emotional stability since his first day with me. In fact, I don’t think he’ll need me anymore soon!”

Jongin smiles at that. It always makes him happy when one of his former patients improves to the point where they won’t need constant therapy.

Baekhyun plucks out a piece of pork and pops it into his mouth. “What about you? I heard that you’re dream diving for a new patient now. Park Chanyeol, right? Isn’t his father that businessman who committed suicide?”

Jongin grimaces at Baekhyun’s crassness and nods. “I didn’t know his father was a businessman.”

“I heard his father’s name pop up a few times on the news,” Baekhyun explains. “It can’t have been easy for Chanyeol-ssi. It’s going to be a long road to recovery for him.”

As he meets Baekhyun’s knowing gaze, Jongin figures that Baekhyun doesn’t need anyone to tell him that Chanyeol is struggling with the Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome. He sighs and picks at his sandwich. “I’m nervous about Chanyeol-ssi’s treatment. It’s completely different, you know? Studying and running simulations in school is nothing like facing it in practice.”

“I know,” Baekhyun says sympathetically, “but you’re a hardworking person, and you’ve been with us since the beginning. Both Junmyeon-hyung and I know that you’ve faced and overcome other difficult obstacles before, and soon, this will just be another addition to the list!” He shoots Jongin a toothy grin filled with confidence and inhales another mouthful of fried rice.

Baekhyun has always been a good motivator, and his words leave Jongin with uplifted spirits when the two of them part. Even a few days later, as Jongin arrives at Chanyeol’s apartment for their first placation session, he feels like he can make some progress with Chanyeol’s secondary identity, even if it’s a baby step.

“Good afternoon, Jongin-ssi,” Yura greets him happily as she lets him into the apartment.

Jongin smiles back. “It’s nice to see you again.” After she disappears to another room, Jongin turns to Chanyeol and asks, “Did you tell her about your diagnosis? I know you want to be the one to tell her, so I don’t want to mention it if you haven’t told her yet.”

“I told her that I don’t feel ready to discuss my diagnosis with her yet,” Chanyeol says. “Didn’t want to keep dodging the subject around her, you know? She told me that it’s fine and that I can tell her whenever I’m ready.”

“Okay. That’s good to hear,” Jongin says, relieved to hear that Chanyeol has at least made a little progress.

“Yeah, I think she suspects something though,” Chanyeol replies. “She’s been giving me these looks that tells me she knows more than she’s letting on, but she hasn’t said anything yet.”

“Oh, really?” Jongin asks as they prepare to start.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol burrows under his blanket. “She’s been like that since we were little.”

Now that Chanyeol points it out, Jongin feels like Yura is giving both of them a look as she makes sure they’re ready to start the session. It reminds Jongin of the times when his older sisters would help him get out of trouble with their parents, only to give him a knowing look after the danger had passed.

Once Yura leaves, the session begins. Jongin falls asleep to the sound of Chanyeol’s breathing, melding his mind with Chanyeol’s dream. The soft sounds of Chanyeol’s breaths fade, and Jongin opens his eyes to see two Chanyeols standing in front of him. The sight isn’t one he sees often, even in his career as a dream diver, and it surprises him enough for him to lean back.

Chanyeol’s secondary identity catches Jongin’s response and curls his lip, but Chanyeol himself remains oblivious, looking at Jongin with anticipation as he asks, “So…how do we do this?”

It’s a good question, and now that Jongin is under the scrutiny of Chanyeol’s secondary identity, he finds his confidence withering fast. He looks around the dreamscape as though the flowing lava would give him an answer and sees a large patch of earth that is devoid of any of the liquid fire. He gestures at it and says, “Uh, let’s…sit down first?”

The question lacks the confidence that his school had emphasized needing when communicating with patients, but Chanyeol doesn’t seem to care as he strides toward the spot. Jongin follows at his heels, glancing back to see if Chanyeol’s secondary identity is following and flinches when he meets the secondary identity’s cold gaze.

The secondary identity remains standing after they reach the spot. He leans against the blackened tree, watching Chanyeol and Jongin like a hawk as they sit on the dry patches of grass. Once they’re settled, Jongin takes a deep breath, steels his courage, and asks the secondary identity, “By the way, do you have a name?”

It’s Chanyeol who answers him. “Wouldn’t his name also be Chanyeol? Since he’s my secondary identity and all…”

“I would imagine that some people do that,” Jongin says, “but my professors at school had talked about how it might be confusing for both the patient and their secondary to have the same name, so they recommend giving the secondary a different name.”

“Ah. That makes sense.” Chanyeol nods in understanding and glances at his lookalike. “I’ll come up with a name later.”

Jongin turns to the secondary identity. “Do you have an idea for a name?”

He’s prepared for Chanyeol’s lookalike to ignore him, but it still strikes a blow to his confidence when the secondary identity looks away, acting as though Jongin had never spoken to him in the first place.

Chanyeol speaks, sounding fed up with his secondary identity’s behavior. “Hey, stop acting like a child!” he scolds. “What did Jongin-ssi ever do to you? He’s trying to help us!”

At that, the secondary identity’s head snaps around and he stares at Chanyeol in irritation. “You mean he’s trying to help _you_!” he sneers. “Have you conveniently forgotten that he and that Kim Junmyeon are trying to get rid of me? As if I would trust someone like _him_!”

The amount of venom in the secondary identity’s words makes Jongin wince, but he doesn’t give up. Chanyeol’s scolding had riled up the secondary identity enough so that he would respond to Jongin’s questions, but the replies are always belligerent and spiteful. It wears Jongin out mentally and emotionally, and he has never been so happy to see the end of a session until now.

As he says goodbye to Chanyeol and Yura, a small voice in the back of his mind suggests that there isn’t a point in trying to placate Chanyeol’s secondary identity, and Jongin shoves it aside with a viciousness unlike him. It’s just going to take some time for Chanyeol’s secondary identity to get used to him, that’s all.

To be on the safe side, Jongin still pops open the vial of sertraline that his doctor had prescribed him and swallows one of the twenty-five milligram tablets.

“This isn’t going how I had hoped,” Junmyeon sighs a few weeks later when he and Jongin meet to update each other on Chanyeol’s therapy. “Chanyeol-ssi is making too little progress. I’ve consulted other psychiatrists about Chanyeol-ssi’s rate of recovery and they all agree that it is a concern, but so far, I am clueless about what we can do to help speed up Chanyeol-ssi’s progress. How are things on your end?”

“Not well,” Jongin admits. He has never been able to deal with continued failure well, and now has to take his sertraline more regularly in order to deal with the feelings of uselessness that hound him after every dream diving session. “The only progress Chanyeol-ssi and I made is naming his secondary identity Loey, if you can even count that. Do you happen to know anything when it comes to dealing with uncooperative secondaries?”

Junmyeon shakes his head with a sympathetic grimace. “Unfortunately, no. I’m not licensed to dream dive, so I don’t have any experience interacting directly with secondary identities.”

Jongin sighs and slouches in his seat, gazing up at the ceiling. He feels empty, like each interaction with Loey drains all of his energy and his recovery is too slow to keep up. “I need a nap.”

“You can nap in my office if you want,” Junmyeon offers as he gets up and moves to his desk. “I don’t have any more appointments today, and I’m just planning on checking patient profiles and making sure everything is up-to-date.”

Jongin honestly doesn’t feel like walking home right now, so he takes Junmyeon up on his offer and stretches out on the couch. It takes him a few tries before he’s comfortable, gradually falling asleep to the sound of Junmyeon typing.

It has been a while since Jongin felt the need to seek refuge in his own dreamscape. It’s a dark expanse of emptiness, only dimly lit because of the few stars scattered throughout the space, but it calms him a little because it takes him back to his therapy sessions. He basks in the silence of his own mind, reciting the words that his therapist had told him years ago like they are mantras.

He must have slept too long because when he wakes up a few hours later, he has a throbbing headache. He groans as he sits up, massaging his temples as he tries to ease the pounding in his skull. After the pain dulls, Jongin blinks open his eyes and glances at Junmyeon, who had taken off his glasses and is rubbing at his eyes.

“Slept well?” Junmyeon asks without looking.

“I guess?” Jongin mumbles as he swings his legs off the couch. “Are your eyes okay?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon pinches the bridge of his nose. “I think I’ve just been staring at the screen for too long. They’re a little dry. I should probably take a break.”

Jongin grunts in agreement. “A break would be good for you. Take a walk and stretch your legs a bit. Get a drink of water.” He stretches, raising his arms over his head like a cat, and stands up. “I should head home. Need to eat dinner.”

“Okay. Be careful on your way home,” Junmyeon says. “And don’t get too worked up over Chanyeol-ssi. I know how you get when you feel like you’re making no progress. Just take care of yourself.”

“I know, hyung,” Jongin smiles, “and I’m going to keep trying to win Loey’s trust, but honestly, I may just have to wait for some outside factor to get Loey to change his mind.”

Jongin has a bad feeling when a worried Chanyeol calls him a few weeks later, inviting him to a gala as his guest.

“I’m sorry if this is crossing the boundaries of a professional relationship,” Chanyeol apologizes when Jongin doesn’t respond at once. “It’s just that I feel like Loey is plotting something, and I’m worried that he’ll do something to ruin the gala because the Jang family is going to be there. They’re the ones who were talking about my mom behind her back. Not going also isn’t an option since my mom would kill me.”

Jongin bites his lower lip. Normally, things like this would be regarded as an empty threat since patients usually have enough willpower to stop their secondary identity from taking control, but Chanyeol’s progress is too slow. Unfortunately, Loey actually has a decent chance of wreaking havoc.

“I’ve never been to a gala before.”

“You won’t have to do much,” Chanyeol reassures. “Just dress nicely, greet anyone who greets you, and say that you’re my guest.”

Jongin doesn’t see why he wouldn’t go, and after confirming with Junmyeon that there aren’t any stipulations that prevent him from going, he tells Chanyeol that he will be at the gala.

Chanyeol picks Jongin up from a café near Jongin’s apartment on the day of the gala. He smiles as Jongin gets into the passenger seat. “Hello,” he says as he gives Jongin a onceover. “I like your suit. That’s a nice red.”

Jongin instinctively glances down and straightens his bow tie. “Thanks,” he replies. “Yours looks good, too.”

“I know,” Chanyeol jokes, but Jongin can see his hands trembling on the steering wheel as he guides the car into the street.

“Hey,” Jongin calls softly. “It’ll be okay. I’m going to be there to keep an eye out.”

Chanyeol glances at him as the cars in front of them start to move and nods, inhaling deeply and letting his breath out in one huge sigh. He calms down a little on their way to the gala, and by the time they’re stepping out of the car, none of Chanyeol’s anxiety shows through the mask of confidence and cheer he wears. He leads Jongin through the crowd, saying hello to some acquaintances here and there and introducing Jongin, who smiles and bows politely while following Chanyeol like a duckling.

Jongin soon catches sight of Yura standing with an older woman. He guesses that the lady must be Chanyeol’s and Yura’s mother, and his assumption is confirmed when Chanyeol approaches the duo and says, “Mom.”

“Chanyeollie!” she replies enthusiastically. “You look so thin! Have you been eating properly?” She catches sight of Jongin and asks, “Who is this?”

Chanyeol takes the chance to dodge his mother’s interrogation and quickly ushers Jongin forward. “This is Kim Jongin-ssi. He’s the dream diver I told you about.”

Understanding dawns on her face. “Oh, yes, I remember!” she exclaims. “Such a handsome boy! Chanyeollie told me a lot about you. I’m Park Jieun, Chanyeollie’s mother.”

 _I’m twenty-six_ , Jongin thinks as he bows in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you, ajumeoni. It’s nice to see you again, Yura-ssi.”

The four of them talk for a while as Park Jieun asks Jongin questions about his job and such. She only stops when Chanyeol complains about being hungry and shoos him away to the food table. Jongin, feeling a little hungry himself, follows Chanyeol after excusing himself from the conversation.

Chanyeol’s steps slow as they approach the food, and Jongin glances at him to see that Chanyeol’s smile had become tight. Chanyeol catches his gaze and lowers his head to mutter, “They’re the ones I told you about. The ones who pretended to be sympathetic about my father. Jang Byungho and Jang Haneul.”

Jongin follows his gaze to see a couple hovering over the food, pointing at various foods and picking out some to put on their plates. The man, Jang Byungho, catches sight of Chanyeol and waves at them. “Oh, isn’t that Chanyeol-ssi?”

Jang Haneul looks up and her expression pinches into a smile. “It’s been a while, Chanyeol-ssi, and you brought a friend with you!”

Jongin doesn’t know what to make of Jang Haneul. While her words and tone suggest the curiosity of meeting a stranger, the way her eyes scan Jongin’s appearance makes him feel like a specimen on display. It feels like she’s judging every inch of him, especially his lack of expensive jewelry, and Jongin doesn’t like it one bit.

Luckily, Chanyeol doesn’t let them stay in the company of the Jangs for much longer after introducing Jongin. Making the excuse of needing to find Yura, they manage to slip away with plates of food and wander around the gala, searching for Yura and Jieun.

“They probably went to the bathroom,” Chanyeol says as he wolfs down the last of his mini sandwiches. “Mom always talks about how she needs to fix her make-up and stuff. Let’s just wander around until we bump into each other.”

They must have been at the gala for thirty minutes before Chanyeol suddenly grabs Jongin’s elbow and tugs him towards the bathrooms. Bewildered and concerned, Jongin follows without protest aside from a soft, “Chanyeol-ssi?”

Chanyeol stops just outside the men’s bathroom and turns to his Jongin, and the look of absolute terror on his face scares Jongin. “He’s trying to take control,” Chanyeol whispers, grasping at his hair with both hands. “Loey wants revenge on Jang Haneul. I don’t think I can hold him off for much longer!”

Jongin is at a loss. He doesn’t know how to conduct suppression therapy. That had always been Junmyeon’s expertise, and they’re so far away from Chanyeol’s car. Jongin doesn’t think he and Chanyeol can get out in time.

“I don’t know what to do!” Chanyeol cries, hunching over as he battles with Loey for control. “Help me beat him! He can’t take control here. Mom and Yura-noona don’t know! Help…help…”

The words die as Chanyeol falls silent, shoulders heaving laboriously with every deep breath he took. Jongin works up the courage to reach out, tentatively touching Chanyeol’s shoulder. His voice cracks as he says, “Chanyeol-ssi?”

Harsh hands grasp his shoulders and shove him to the side. Jongin squeaks as his back hits the wall and looks up to see Loey’s familiar glare, pinning him in place.

“Don’t interfere,” Loey growls.

Out of instinct, Jongin seizes the sleeve of Loey’s suit, trying to stop him before the secondary identity can return to the gala. He hasn’t forgotten how strong Loey is, but it still shocks him when Loey shakes him off like he’s nothing, pushing Jongin into a door so hard that Jongin’s waist collides with the doorknob. Jongin curls up in pain for a few seconds, and when he straightens up, Loey has disappeared.

He manages to locate Loey as soon as he returns to the crowd, but the secondary identity is already halfway across the room to where the Jangs are. Jongin chases after him, pushing his way through the gathering as fast as he can, but it doesn’t seem like he’s catching up.

“Haneul-ssi,” Loey greets. “I’ve been looking for you.”

This can’t be happening. Jongin hears the Jangs answer Loey and pushes himself to go faster.

“You see, I’ve been looking into buying my sister a new purse since her birthday is coming up,” Loey says, casually shoving one hand into his pocket. “And I don’t think you know about this, but I saw you out at the Lotte Young Plaza, and I saw that you were carrying a red purse. I was hoping you could tell me where you got it.”

Even from his distance, Jongin can see Jang Haneul’s face turn white when Loey brought up the Lotte Young Plaza. Jang Byungho glances from Loey to his wife, confusion lining his face.

Jang Haneul quickly schools her expression into a shaky smile. “You must be mistaken, Chanyeol-ssi,” she says, gaze darting briefly to her husband. “I don’t have a red purse.”

“Oh, really?” Loey feigns surprise. “I know for sure that I saw you though, and I definitely wouldn’t mistake the red. It is my favorite color after all. I assumed that the man you were with must have bought it for you. He looked very rich.”

Jang Haneul’s face twists into something ugly, and then Jang Byungho moves. Screams ring throughout the space and Jongin flinches at the sound of the fist colliding with Loey’s face, but Loey doesn’t fall, only stumbling back a couple paces from the hit.

“Are you accusing my wife of cheating?” Jang Byungho roars. He strides forward as though to attack Loey once more, but a couple men step between them and hold him back. “Filthy mongrel! This is why your father killed himself!”

Jongin manages to snag the back of Loey’s jacket as the man lunges at Jung Byungho, managing to land a blow on the man’s ribs. The gala quickly dissolves into chaos as people try to separate Loey and Jang Byungho. Amidst the confusion, Jongin succeeds in wrapping one arm around Loey’s torso and hauling him outside.

Loey stops fighting Jongin’s hold by the time they enter the alleyway next to the venue, and Jongin shoves him hard. Anger boils beneath his skin, fueled by the bitter taste on the back of his tongue, and with all the stress that Jongin has been dealing with, it burns away the last bit of patience he has.

“Have you gone mad?” he screams, not caring if other people can hear them. “Do you think picking fights is the way to get people to acknowledge your pain? Forcing your pain onto people will only make them resent you, and it won’t help you heal!”

Loey only glares at him with the same look of hatred and mistrust that Jongin is growing sick of seeing.

He points in the direction of the venue. “Do you realize how people are going to talk about Chanyeol after today?”

“Fuck off!” Loey spits. “You’re an outsider. How can you possibly care about Chanyeol and what we’ve been through?”

“Oh, and you care so much!” Jongin retorts. “You’ve ruined Chanyeol’s reputation today for your own selfish spite, and you try to say that I don’t care?”

His words must have struck a chord in Loey because the secondary identity is now storming towards him with a dark expression. Jongin should be scared, and there is a small voice in the back of his mind telling him to run for his life, but there’s a louder voice roaring at him to stand his ground and put Loey in his place.

He stays where he is, hands clenched into fists and panting from the fury that courses through him. Closing the distance, Loey raises his arms, reaching out to grab Jongin, and Jongin knocks his hands away. However, before things can escalate further, a voice echoes through the alleyway.

“Chanyeol!”

Yura stands in the mouth of the alleyway, staring at them with an indecipherable expression. She hesitates for a moment and then walks toward them, closing the distance between her and Loey.

Meanwhile, Loey lowers his hands and steps away from Jongin. He eyes Yura with wariness but makes no move to say or do anything to keep her away.

Yura stops in front of Loey. “Well,” she starts slowly, “you look like Chanyeol, but you aren’t really Chanyeol, are you?”

Loey stares at the ground, looking like a child who is getting scolded. Yura pauses for a moment before she reaches out and lightly touches the blossoming bruise on Loey’s cheek, prompting Loey to look up.

Yura’s voice is thick and trembling when she speaks again. “Thank you. For trying to defend mom and dad and for trying to protect Chanyeollie,” she explains when Loey looks confused. “Thank you.”

She wipes her face and tugs at Chanyeol’s suit, straightening the collar and briefly brushing over a spot where a button is missing. “Jongin-ssi is a good person,” she says. “I know it hurts when you think about those people who betrayed us, but not everyone is like that. Listen to Jongin-ssi. He’s really trying to help. Okay?”

Whatever magic Yura weaves works because a resigned expression overtakes Loey’s features. The tension disappears from Loey’s shoulders, which slump with a newfound exhaustion, and Jongin can see the hard lines on Loey’s face soften as the secondary identity returns control to Chanyeol, who immediately grabs his sister in a hug and cries into her shoulder.

They don’t separate until Chanyeol has calmed down and Yura says that she needs to help their mother do damage control at the venue. She pats Chanyeol on the back as they part, making sure that he will be okay before she turns to Jongin and bows.

“I would like to give you my apologies and my thanks, Jongin-ssi,” she says. “I understand that you didn’t sign up to get injured while trying to treat Chanyeollie’s JH Syndrome, and I’m grateful that you’ve still stuck around. We really owe you a lot.”

Jongin quickly shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

One corner of Yura’s mouth twitches in a weak smile. She turns back to Chanyeol and pats his head. “Do you feel well enough to drive Jongin-ssi home?”

Chanyeol nods and hoarsely says, “I can do it.”

They separate from Yura at Chanyeol’s car, and Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh after he and Jongin get in and lock the doors. Jongin watches him, noting how tired he looks, and says, “If you want, you can stay the night at my place.”

Chanyeol is too drained to even try refusing. “Really?”

Jongin nods. “I have a couch that pulls out into a bed, and I keep spare toothbrushes because my sisters sometimes come visit me.” He fiddles with the ends of his sleeves. “I just don’t think you should be alone after what happened at the gala.”

Chanyeol is quiet as he moves about Jongin’s apartment, taking a quick shower and changing into the sleep clothes that Jongin provided him before slipping under the covers on the couch. Jongin, claiming that he needs to complete some documentation for Junmyeon, keeps him company until Chanyeol falls asleep, and then goes to take his own shower.

The stresses of the day catch up to him as the water runs over his skin, and Jongin can once again taste the bitter frustration on the back of his tongue. Not wanting to wake Chanyeol, he does his best to be quiet as he cries out all the negative thoughts that had amassed during the past few weeks, letting them be washed away in the warm stream of water.

Jongin is too exhausted to wait for his hair to dry, so he halfheartedly towels it until it’s not dripping and then goes to bed. He drifts off to sleep quickly, floating amongst the stars in his dreamscape peacefully, willing his mind to empty after the chaos of the gala.

“Well, it looks like you’ve had an interesting day.”

Jongin’s eyes shoot open as he flounders about. The blood in his body turns to ice at the sound of the silky voice that he hasn’t heard since he was in high school, and his breath stutters in his chest as he looks at the mirror image of himself who smiles wolfishly back at him.

“Kai,” Jongin gasps. “What are you—why are you back?”

Kai looks at him in amusement, crossing his arms and tracing his bottom lip with his thumb. “I was bored.” He shrugs. “And then this hyung in red came into your dreamscape and woke me up, so here I am.”

“Somebody in red?” Jongin repeats. “Who?”

Kai shrugs again. “Don’t know. He never told me his name.” He saunters closer to Jongin like a cat stalking its prey. “So? Who’s the new JH guy? I see you’re getting into fights because of him.” His finger brushes by the bruise on Jongin’s waist before he suddenly jabs it.

Letting out an indignant yelp, Jongin swats Kai’s hand and shies away with a glare. “Don’t touch, and tell me about the man in red first!”

With a scoff, Kai rolls his eyes and turns away. “You’re no fun.”

Jongin hates to admit it, but Kai continues to lead him around, responding to Jongin’s questions with a cheekiness that surpasses Baekhyun’s. He even has the audacity to wave when it’s time for Jongin to wake up.

Jongin texts Junmyeon immediately upon waking up, and he barely has to wait one minute before Junmyeon responds, telling him to come into the office as soon as possible. Jongin needs to make sure Chanyeol is okay first before he can go running off.

“I feel a bit better than I did yesterday,” Chanyeol says, eyes still swollen from sleep. “Loey was quiet last night.”

Jongin nods in acknowledgment. “I see.”

“Thanks for letting me stay over,” Chanyeol continues. “You were right. I don’t think I would have wanted to be alone after the gala yesterday.” Smoothing down his ruffled hair, he grimaces. “Mom is going to kill me.”

“Do you think Yura-ssi will talk to your mother about it?” Jongin gently prompts.

Chanyeol contemplates it. “Maybe,” he says and gets up from the couch. “I should get going. Toben is probably hungry, and I’m sure you have places to be.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat breakfast first?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I have some leftovers that have been sitting in my fridge for a while. I should hurry up and eat it before it spoils.”

“In that case, I’ll see you off. Let me get changed.”

Jongin changes out of his sleepwear and accompanies Chanyeol out, waving as the other drives away. When Chanyeol’s car disappears from view, Jongin orders a breakfast sandwich from a nearby café and heads for Junmyeon’s office, where he finds his employer typing away at his computer.

“Jongin,” Junmyeon greets him. “Sit down. How are you? You told me that you’ve had a relapse in your JH Syndrome.”

Jongin tells Junmyeon about his meeting with Kai last night, and Junmyeon’s worried expression reflects the turmoil Jongin feels.

“That is serious indeed,” Junmyeon acknowledges. “Has Kai tried to coerce you into violence at all?”

Jongin thinks about it. The Kai that he had seen in his dreamscape is very tame compared to the Kai from several years ago, but that might just mean that Kai is biding his time. “He hasn’t yet.”

The furrow in Junmyeon’s brow doesn’t fade. “Okay, unfortunately, I’m going to have to remove you as an active dream diver until you get your JH Syndrome back under control. It doesn’t mean I’m firing you, but it means you’re on paid leave. Luckily, I know a couple floater dream divers who can substitute for you until you’re well enough to come back.”

“Does my leave start immediately?” Jongin asks, slightly surprised at how Junmyeon is taking things in stride.

“Yes, we can’t risk having Kai appearing in your patients’ dreamscapes when you’re trying to work. You’ll have to cancel any sessions that you have coming in the next few days until I can find a replacement,” Junmyeon explains. “I’m also concerned about this person in red that Kai mentioned. Does he really not know who it was or is he just refusing to tell you?”

“Knowing him, it could be either,” Jongin grumbles.

Junmyeon hums, mouth set in a disapproving frown. “Well, make sure you’re careful about where you sleep. It’s likely that it was another dream diver. Do you still have the contact for your previous therapist?”

“I do,” Jongin confirms. “What about the paperwork?”

“I’ll handle that for you.” Junmyeon waves a hand in dismissal. “You just worry about letting your patients know that their upcoming sessions are cancelled.” 

Jongin has an office at his workplace, although he rarely uses it for anything other than making calls. He retreats there now to call all of his patients, glad that he doesn’t have many. They take the news with varying reactions. Most are understanding and only concerned about how long it’ll take Junmyeon to find another dream diver and are satisfied with some reassurance that Junmyeon will give them a call to reschedule their sessions as soon as possible.

There is one patient, however, who tests Jongin’s patience. She’s been a more difficult patient for as long as Jongin knew her, and over time, he had gotten used to her personality. However, there are still moments where she’ll say something that makes Jongin wish Junmyeon would drop her as a patient.

“You know, you’d think that people who sign up to be mental health professionals would be mentally healthy themselves,” she complains. “This way, we wouldn’t have to deal with inconveniences like this.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and quickly ends the conversation before she can complain some more. He hangs up with a sigh and stares at his phone for a while, trying to muster up the willpower to finish the calls.

Chanyeol is the last patient and the one Jongin is most worried about. He chews on his bottom lip as he waits for Chanyeol to pick up, tapping his fingers on the polished wood.

“Jongin-ssi?”

“Chanyeol-ssi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time.”

“Oh, not at all,” Chanyeol says despite his heavy tone. “I just spoke to my sister. Our mom’s not exactly happy with the stunt Loey pulled at the gala.”

Jongin winces. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I expected it though,” Chanyeol says. “She’s always been quick to believe those horror stories of JH Syndrome online, so I’m honestly not surprised she took it poorly. Anyway, did you need something?”

“Oh, yes,” Jongin says apologetically. “I’m calling to let you know that your upcoming session has been cancelled. I’m going to be on leave because of some health issues. Junmyeon will be getting a new dream diver while I’m gone, and he’ll give you a call as soon as possible to reschedule.”

There is a short pause before Chanyeol responds. “Oh,” he responds with clear disappointment and also a hint of concern. “Okay then. Are you okay?”

“I will be,” Jongin says at the same time he hears a knock on his door. Glancing up, he sees Baekhyun slide into his office with a grin and sit down across from him.

This time, there is a longer pause before Chanyeol hesitantly says, “If…If you, you know, need help or anything, you can ask me. I…well, I don’t know anything about being a therapist or a dream diver or anything, but if you need someone to rant to or keep you company, then I’m willing to try and help. Oh, but will you get in trouble for that? I don’t want to try and help and end up getting you in trouble. It’s just that you’ve told me before that it’s good to have a support system, so…”

Jongin understands what Chanyeol is trying to say, and the thought gives him a warm feeling in his chest. He waits for Chanyeol’s rambling to trail off before he gently says, “I appreciate the offer, Chanyeol-ssi. Thank you.”

He bids Chanyeol goodbye and finally turns his attention to Baekhyun, who had pulled out his phone and began playing with it while Jongin was talking to Chanyeol. Now, seeing that Jongin is unoccupied, Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “Lunch?”

They end up at their favorite café. Jongin orders his usual sandwich while Baekhyun decides on a large bowl of chicken ramyeon, and the pair sit down at the only available table, which is right below the wall-mounted television. The reporter stares at Jongin as she recites the news of the day, and he takes a large bit of his sandwich as he listens to her talk about the pop singer who had ruined his voice with excessive alcohol intake.

He feels bad for the singer as a picture of the man flashes across the screen. “It really sucks,” he comments, “when the stress gets so bad that people feel like the only way to deal with it is to drink.”

Baekhyun slurps up a noodle and glances at the screen. He lets out a snort. “Yeah. It’s a shame.”

Jongin looks at him. “You don’t actually seem upset though?”

Baekhyun stirs at the soup in his bowl contemplatively. “He and I were classmates when we were in high school. We both wanted to be idols, but he was insecure about his singing, so he and his friends tricked me into swallowing some glass shards, which is why my voice is like _this_!” He points at the lidocaine patch on his throat.

Jongin squirms at the cold discomfort that runs through his body. He can’t even begin to imagine how much it must have hurt when the glass cut Baekhyun’s throat and continued to shred his digestive tract on its way down.

Baekhyun sighs and returns to stirring the soup. “I have no sympathy for him.”

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says quietly as he picks at his sandwich. A sudden chuckle drowns out Baekhyun’s response and freezes Jongin in his seat.

Kai is laughing.

 _Why are you laughing?_ Jongin asks, irritated with how his secondary identity is finding amusement in Baekhyun’s pain.

The laughing stops, and Kai answers, voice still dripping with mirth. _Why don’t you ask_ him _?_

The question catches Jongin off-guard and confuses him. He doesn’t know who Kai is referring to. Is the secondary identity saying that Baekhyun is secretly pleased that the singer’s voice is destroyed?

In the end, he asks Baekhyun nothing. They part ways after finishing lunch. Baekhyun gives Jongin a few pats on the back before heading back to the office while Jongin turns the other way and begins walking home.

He had just gotten home and contacted his old therapist to schedule an appointment when his phone vibrates with a call from Chanyeol. Concerned, Jongin picks up immediately, asking if Chanyeol is okay.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Chanyeol reassures despite the nervousness in his voice. “It’s just…Loey said he wants to talk to you.”

The revelation surprises Jongin. “Loey said that?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol confirms. “I know you said that you’re not an active dream diver anymore, but would it be possible for you to come and dream dive?”

Jongin hesitates, considering his options. Admittedly, he is curious about what Loey wants to say to him, but at the same time, he’s worried about what Kai might do if he dives into Chanyeol’s dreamscape. His secondary identity is still a wild card, and Jongin doesn’t want Kai making Chanyeol uncomfortable.

“I’m not sure,” Jongin says. He doesn’t want to dodge this request with weak excuses, so he decides to be upfront. “The reason I’m on leave right now is because my own JH Syndrome had a relapse recently, and I’m not sure how my secondary identity will act if I dive into your dreamscape.”

There is silence on the other end, and Jongin starts to suspect that Chanyeol might have hung up on him when the other says, “Oh, you have it, too.”

There’s no anger in Chanyeol’s voice, so Jongin continues, “Yeah, I’ve had it for years now.”

“Is it my fault?” Chanyeol asks in a small voice. “Did I cause your relapse?”

“No!” Jongin quickly answers. “No, it’s not because of you and Loey. There was an…outside factor.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol doesn’t sound very convinced, but he doesn’t pry into the topic further. “Well, uh, Loey’s still saying that he needs to talk to you and he’s not worried about your secondary identity showing up.”

“What about you, would you be comfortable with that?” Jongin asks.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Chanyeol says.

The next day, Jongin finds himself and Chanyeol watching nervously as Loey and Kai scrutinize each other. A heavy tension is wrapped around the four of them, and Jongin prays that Kai will behave.

“So,” Kai drawls, “I heard you’re not the best when it comes to controlling your temper.”

Loey’s glare intensifies and his upper lip pulls back in a sneer, but to his credit, he doesn’t rise to the bait. Meanwhile, Kai’s smirk only widens.

Before Kai can stir up any more trouble, Jongin quickly cuts in, “So anyway, you said you wanted to talk to me?”

Loey opens his mouth, then shuts it and looks at Chanyeol. They exchange a look that Jongin can’t decipher, and then Chanyeol sighs and says, “He wants to know about your suppression therapy. Well, I kind of want to know, too. How did your therapist conduct your suppression therapy?”

Jongin blinks. This isn’t what he had expected Loey to ask him about. “Uh, it’s been so long, so I can’t remember all the details. The most I can say is that since day one, my therapist was telling me to remind myself that Kai doesn’t define me and to have something to hold on to in case Kai tried to take control, like focusing my thoughts on my dogs whenever I felt Kai getting out of hand.”

Chanyeol and Loey are both quiet after hearing that, and Jongin’s stomach turns nervously as he waits for one of them to say something. Kai, however, is completely unbothered as he drapes himself over Jongin and rests his chin on Jongin’s shoulder.

“Junmyeon-ssi never told me any of that,” Chanyeol finally says.

“If I remember correctly,” Loey growls, “he told you to remember that I am a part of you and to accept me.”

Jongin looks nervously from Loey to Chanyeol and then back to Loey. This time, Chanyeol’s secondary identity meets his gaze and crosses his arms over his chest.

“I don’t trust Kim Junmyeon at all.”

Loey’s words follow Jongin into next week, buzzing around his head like a swarm of flies circling a carcass. Jongin doesn’t know what to make of them, honestly. He has known Junmyeon for years and wants to believe that Loey is just being paranoid, but Loey had spoken with such certainty that Jongin is almost convinced that there is something off with Junmyeon. Even now, as he eats lunch with Baekhyun in the office’s lounge, he keeps glancing in the direction of Junmyeon’s door.

“Hey.”

Baekhyun’s voice snaps Jongin out of his thoughts, and he looks up to meet the other’s gaze.

“You still coming over on my birthday?” Baekhyun asks. “I bought the latest horror movie for us to watch.”

Jongin nods. “Do you want me to arrive in the afternoon?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Sure. I doubt I’ll be up before twelve anyway.”

Jongin hums in response, and when the conversation lulls, he turns his attention to the small television in the corner. The reporter gazes back, narrating the story of a person who was found with a slit throat. Unfortunately, the murderer is still at large, and the thought sends a chill crawling through his skin.

“I hope they catch the killer soon,” Jongin mumbles to no one in particular. “It’s scary, knowing that there’s a murderer out there somewhere.”

Baekhyun glances up at the television and looks back down at his phone with a grunt of acknowledgment.

Jongin hears a door open and looks around to see Chanyeol leave Junmyeon’s office. When Chanyeol sees him, Jongin smiles and waves at him. “Hi, Chanyeol-ssi.”

Chanyeol doesn’t wave or smile back as he walks closer, glancing from Jongin to Baekhyun, who looks at Chanyeol and says, “Oh, hey, I’ve seen you around before. Park Chanyeol-ssi, right?”

Chanyeol doesn’t respond to Baekhyun, and Jongin realizes that it’s not Chanyeol in control right now. It’s Loey.

He quickly starts talking to Chanyeol before Baekhyun can notice anything off. “Did you just finish your session? On your way home now?” he asks, trying to convey a silent plea through his eyes.

Loey must have caught the signal because he replies, “Yes, I’m heading home.” With that, he nods to Jongin and Baekhyun and leaves.

Jongin shovels down the last of his lunch and stands up, grabbing his things and hurrying after Loey. “Hyung, I’m done eating so I’m gonna head home, too. See you on your birthday!”

He doesn’t wait for Baekhyun’s response before he’s out the door and scurrying down the front steps. Loey, who is standing at the bottom, looks up as Jongin approaches and starts walking in the direction of Chanyeol’s apartment.

“How was your session?” Jongin asks as he catches up and matches Loey’s pace.

“Same as every other session,” Loey grunts. “You hang around with sketchy people though.”

“Huh?” Jongin blinks. “Sketchy people? Who?”

“The person you were just with. Baekhyun.” Loey shoves his hands into his jacket pockets as he strides down the sidewalk. “Something about him doesn’t sit right with me.”

Jongin’s brow furrows at the statement. “Baekhyun-hyung?” he repeats. “I’ve known him since I first became a professional dream diver. He’s probably the least sketchy person I’ve ever met.”

Loey side-eyes him for a moment and then shrugs. “Probably. Since you’ve known him longer than I have.”

It’s almost strange, not having Loey fight him tooth and nail with every statement Jongin says. However, Jongin decides not to push it, merely gazing at Loey’s back with a concerned frown. He waits for Kai to jump in with input, but there is nothing from his secondary identity.

Nevertheless, Jongin finds himself observing Baekhyun more closely when he arrives at Baekhyun’s house for the movie. He watches as Baekhyun grabs the snacks and drinks, but to him, Baekhyun is acting as he always does.

“So how have you been?” Baekhyun asks as he pushes a bag of chips closer to Jongin before sliding the movie disc into the DVD player. “Is your therapy going okay?”

“It’s going fine.” Jongin opens the bag and pops a chip into his mouth. “Surprisingly, Kai isn’t causing any trouble, so my therapist doesn’t really know how to proceed. She’s been trying to figure things out, but it’s difficult since JH Syndrome and mental health in general don’t receive a lot of funding for research.”

Baekhyun hums as he scoots back into his seat and pops open a bottle of soda. “It sucks that you ended up developing JH in the first place though. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Beauty standards and kids being kids,” Jongin explains as the movie starts up. “My skin is darker than what people like to see, and I got bullied for it a lot in middle school and high school. When I tried to tell my teacher, she barely did anything to stop it and told me I was being too sensitive and that boys shouldn’t be so upset over something as trivial as that. Both of my parents were working a lot back then, and my sisters were both busy with school, so I didn’t want to burden them with it, and the resentment festered until it became Kai.”

Baekhyun grimaces at that. “Wow, kids can be such assholes,” he comments. “If I were you, I probably would have tried to get revenge at some point.”

Jongin laughs at that and waves it off. “Nah, I wouldn’t want to stoop that low. If I hurt them for hurting me, then that would make me no better than them.”

The opening scene of the movie blares loudly through the room, and the screen turns dark as the camera pans through a scene of a forest at night.

“So they got away with it?” Baekhyun rasps suddenly. “They did you wrong and you let them get away with it?”

Jongin turns to stare at Baekhyun in confusion. “Uh…”

Baekhyun meets his gaze with an unnatural emptiness that makes Jongin squirm in his seat, but there is no mistaking the anger in his voice as he snarls, “If someone tries to hurt you, you need to make sure they regret it enough to never try it again!”

Confused by Baekhyun’s sudden outburst, Jongin can’t form a coherent response. Instead, he stares at Baekhyun with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as the other glares back at him, shoulders heaving as he had run a mile without stopping. Unbidden, Loey’s statement of not trusting Baekhyun resurfaces, and Jongin finds himself leaning away from his friend.

He senses Kai stirring in his mind, and if Jongin had been in his dreamscape, then Kai would be leaning in behind him to whisper in his ear. _Why don’t you ask him why he’s laughing?_

Then, Jongin remembers something that Baekhyun had mentioned during lunch on the day Jongin had gone on leave. The pop singer hadn’t been the only person who had tricked Baekhyun into swallowing the glass. He had had _friends_ with him.

“That person whose throat was slit,” Jongin croaked. “He was a friend of that pop singer who had ruined your voice.”

Baekhyun looks surprised at first, but then one corner of his mouth quirks up in a smirk. “Oh? Did you figure something out? Care to share with the class?” he mocks.

Jongin slowly gets up from his seat. Baekhyun mirrors the movement, and the two of them circle each other around the couch. “Are you the one who killed that man?”

Baekhyun doesn’t need to say anything: the pleased smile on his face is enough of an answer. “Oh, but that’s not all,” Baekhyun sneers. “I have to say that it was ridiculously easy to push that _singer_ into alcoholism. Now he can experience what it’s like to lose _his_ hopes and dreams!”

Every word Baekhyun utters makes Jongin sicker to the stomach. “You’re insane,” Jongin gasps. “Byun Baekhyun, you’re _fucking insane_!”

 _A little suggestion,_ Kai suddenly croons. _You should probably stop calling him Baekhyun. After all, that’s not Baekhyun you’re talking to. It probably never was_.

Of course it’s not Baekhyun. Jongin can’t believe he didn’t realize it sooner. Byun Baekhyun also has the Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome, but his secondary identity had taken control a long time ago.

Baekhyun scoffs in the face of Jongin’s accusations. “What are you going to do, Jonginnie?” he taunts as he slowly reaches for something. “You have no evidence to take to the police. They’ll investigate and find absolutely _nothing_.”

 _Give me control_ , Kai says.

“What?” Jongin says. He’s still not sure if he can trust Kai to behave, yet his secondary identity is demanding for control.

_Now!_

More out of shock than willingness, Jongin retreats into the recesses of his mind right as Baekhyun hurls the remote control at him. Kai, now in control of Jongin’s body, ducks to avoid the object, only for Baekhyun to accost him as soon as he straightens up. The two of them tumble to the floor in the ensuing struggle, and with his experience in hapkido, Baekhyun manages to pin down Kai.

However, Kai is nothing if not resourceful and appreciative of underhanded tactics. Therefore, he doesn’t hesitate to grab the nearest object—an unopened soda bottle—and bash it against Baekhyun’s head.

Baekhyun recoils with a shout of pain, and it’s enough to allow Kai to shove him into the television stand, causing the television to wobble and crash down on his head. There’s a loud buzzing sound. Then, the movie turns off, and Baekhyun’s yells echo around the house.

“You fucker!” Baekhyun roars as he shoves the television away. “How dare you! I’ll make you pay for this; just you wait!”

Jongin doesn’t hear any more as Kai makes a break for the front door, seizing Jongin’s shoes before fleeing out into the empty street. Once he realizes that Baekhyun isn’t following them, Kai stops sprinting to put on the shoes before continuing down the street at a swift walk.

 _So? What now?_ Kai asks as they hurry in the direction of the metro stop.

Jongin considers his options. _Give me control_ , he tells Kai. _I’m going to Junmyeon-hyung._

Kai returns control to him without a fight and settles back in the back of Jongin’s mind. _I don’t know what Junmyeon will do for you, but alright._

Jongin bursts into Junmyeon’s office like a frightened deer. The sound of the door bouncing off the wall echoes loudly, and Junmyeon stares at him with wide eyes as he holds his phone to his ear, evidently in the middle of a phone call. However, as Jongin shuts the door and stumbles to the couch, he regains his composure and tells the person on the other end that he’ll call them back later and joins Jongin on the couch.

“Jongin, are you okay?” he asks, concern etched on his face. “What happened to you?”

Taking large gulps of air, Jongin recounts what happened at Baekhyun’s house. Junmyeon looks troubled, especially when Jongin tells him that Baekhyun had admitted to murdering someone and manipulating a singer into alcoholism, but Jongin knows that Junmyeon doesn’t believe him completely. Baekhyun has always come across as a genuine, down-to-earth man, so unless Jongin can produce solid evidence of his crimes, then nobody is going to believe him.

“Those are serious accusations, Jongin,” Junmyeon says when Jongin is done talking.

“I know, hyung,” Jongin says, “but I promise that it is what happened! Even if you don’t believe me, at least investigate it a little!”

Perhaps it’s his raw desperation that convinces Junmyeon, but the latter agrees to investigate and to keep it a secret from Baekhyun. Relief floods through Jongin at that. If Junmyeon is the one requesting an investigation, then it’s more likely that someone will listen.

“Do you feel safe staying at home?” Junmyeon asks as Jongin gets ready to leave. “Would you feel safer staying with me?”

Jongin considers the offer and is about to accept, but Kai suddenly cuts to the forefront of his mind. _Stay with the giraffe_.

Jongin pauses, face twisting in confusion. _Who?_

Kai sighs. _The one who warned you about Baekhyun._

_Would Chanyeol-ssi and Loey be okay with that?_

_They will be,_ Kai promises.

Normally, Jongin wouldn’t do what Kai tells him to, but after the incident with Baekhyun, he’s more willing to trust his secondary identity’s judgment. Declining Junmyeon’s offer, Jongin says that he has someone to stay with and exits the office.

 _You know,_ Kai says as Jongin hurries down the steps, _that Kim Junmyeon has a really familiar face._

 _Well, of course he does. You’ve seen him before._ Jongin pulls out his phone, looking for Chanyeol’s contact.

Kai ignores him as he continues mumbling to himself. After a moment, he finally makes a noise of recognition. _Oh, I remember now. He’s the one who woke me up. The hyung in red._

Jongin freezes in the middle of the sidewalk. Someone bumps into him from behind with a disgruntled noise, but Jongin barely notices as he continues to interrogate Kai. _The man in red? Are you absolutely sure?_

 _Yes!_ Kai responds with irritation. _His hair and clothes might be different, but his face is the same. He’s the one who woke me up._

Jongin faces the office as though he wanted to go back and question Junmyeon himself. He hesitates for a moment and turns away in the end. _You must be mistaken. Junmyeon-hyung said he doesn’t have a license in dream diving._

 _Not having a license doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to do it,_ Kai points out. _If you don’t believe me, you can always find out for yourself._

Jongin contemplates Kai’s suggestion as he starts walking again with slow steps. If he wants to find out if Junmyeon is the man in red, then he would have to put himself in a position to allow Junmyeon to dive into his dreams. He isn’t ecstatic about the idea, especially since he doesn’t know Junmyeon’s motives, but if Kai is there, then surely Jongin can trust Kai to have his back in case something goes wrong?

However, that thought doesn’t provide him enough comfort. Jongin wracks his brain to come up with someone whom he can discuss his plan with. Of course, the only ones who come to mind are Chanyeol and Loey.

 _Do you have to bring that big-eared oaf into this?_ Kai complains the moment he finds out that Jongin wants to confide in those two.

 _He’s not an oaf, and of course I do! Loey is the one who warned me about Baekhyun, and he said that he doesn’t trust Junmyeon-hyung. I want his opinion on this plan_. Jongin unlocks his phone again and pulls up Chanyeol’s contact. _Do you have a problem with Chanyeol-ssi?_

 _No_ , Kai grumbles.

_With Loey?_

This time, Kai doesn’t respond, and Jongin knows that he hit the mark. _What’s your issue with Loey?_

Like a petulant child, Kai mumbles under his breath for a while before he finally speaks loud enough to say, _I don’t like people who are taller than me._

That’s a lie if Jongin has ever heard one. If Kai doesn’t like people who beat him when it comes to height, then he should dislike Chanyeol as well, yet the secondary identity says that he has no problems with Chanyeol. Jongin, however, doesn’t call Kai out on it and merely brushes it off, holding his phone to his ear as he waits for Chanyeol to pick up.

A few days later, Jongin walks up the steps to the office alone, a bag of sushi heavy in his hand. He, alongside Kai, Chanyeol, and Loey, had come up with a plan, and Jongin had called Junmyeon, asking to have lunch together since it has been a while since they spent some time together. Baekhyun isn’t in today, so Jongin feels safe stepping into the building for a couple of hours.

Once they’ve finished eating, Jongin feigns sleepiness according to the plan. Luckily, it’s a slow day at the office, so Junmyeon allows Jongin to nap on his couch. Jongin lies down and gets comfortable, sending a quick prayer for the plan to work before closing his eyes.

Jongin is so jittery that he’s surprised that he manages to fall asleep as quickly as he does. Nevertheless, he soon blinks his eyes open to see his dreamscape, and after orienting himself a little, he begins his search for Kai and the man in red, if the latter is here.

It’s not long before he sees a red figure in the distance. Jongin’s heart skips a beat and he slows to a cautious walk, approaching the man in red from behind so that the latter doesn’t notice him. He can see Kai over the man’s shoulder, but his secondary identity is focused on what the man is saying and hasn’t glanced at Jongin yet.

Jongin takes a few more steps, and then he’s close enough to hear what he is saying.

“I hope you will seriously consider my offer,” the man says to Kai. “You can be so much more as the primary identity.”

Kai raises an eyebrow and finally looks over the man’s shoulder at Jongin. The man starts and turns around to see what Kai is looking at.

A part of Jongin tells him that he shouldn’t be surprised. After all, he had already recognized Junmyeon’s voice. However, he still can’t help the pang of betrayal that shoots through his chest like a bolt of lightning. Kai had been right: different hair, different clothes, but the same face, and seeing Junmyeon in his dreamscape makes Jongin so damn _angry_ , especially after hearing what the man had been saying to Kai.

“You—!” Jongin starts, stalking towards Junmyeon, but he doesn’t manage to get any other words out before Junmyeon disappears.

Realizing that Junmyeon must have woken up, Jongin hurries to wake up, too. He bursts from his dreamscape with a gasp to see Junmyeon looming over him and instinctively lashes out, shoving Junmyeon away before jumping to his feet.

“What the hell were you doing in my dream!” Jongin demands. “You told me you don’t dream dive!”

He hates the way Junmyeon regards him so calmly and coldly, as though Jongin’s agitation means nothing to him, as though _Jongin_ means nothing to him.

“Not having a dream diving license doesn’t mean I can’t dream dive, Jonginnie,” Junmyeon says.

“It means you don’t have the authority to dream dive,” Jongin retorts. “Doing it without authorization is breaking the law!”

An amused smile slowly spreads across Junmyeon’s face. “You already caught me trying to empower your secondary identity, and you still think that the law will scare me?”

“Empowering?” Jongin echoes.

“Trying to make him stronger,” Junmyeon explains. “I’m sure you’re aware of how prejudiced society is against those with the Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome. Someone could lose their job, be abandoned by their own family…your parents stopped contacting you after you became of age, didn’t they?”

“What’s your point?” Jongin growls. The subject of his parents still leaves a bitter wound in his heart.

Junmyeon gives him a look. “I want to create a circle of acceptance for people with the JH Syndrome. A place where we can openly talk about our struggles. A place where we don’t have to be ashamed for having the syndrome. And of course, who could accept someone with JH Syndrome aside from another person with it?”

“What does that have to do with empowering the secondary identities?” Jongin interrogates. “Someone with JH can sympathize just fine as the primary identity.”

“ _Sympathy_ is not what I’m looking for,” Junmyeon interrupts. “Secondary identities are actually perfectly capable of living a normal life. Baekhyun was accomplishing that quite well, despite his need for revenge. However, there are too few of us to provide adequate data. Therefore, I merely need to expand the sample size a little, even if it means pushing people into developing the syndrome.”

Jongin can’t believe his ears. “You are _ruining_ lives,” he cries hoarsely. “Don’t you remember how it was for you? Battling with a version of yourself that is full of resentment and hatred, trying to stop yourself from hurting the ones you care about because it’s not _you_? You want to subject more people to that feeling just to find some form of acceptance? Junmyeon-hyung, true acceptance doesn’t come from other people. It comes from you!”

Junmyeon’s eyes widen a fraction, and for a moment, Jongin thinks that he has managed to get through to him. However, Junmyeon snorts softly and looks at Jongin with an expression akin to pity.

“Are you trying to appeal to Junmyeon’s compassion?” he asks. “So sorry to say, but ‘Kim Junmyeon’ stopped existing a long time ago.”

A chill runs through Jongin’s body, and his breath catches in his throat. “You’re like Baekhyun.”

“Not quite.” Junmyeon smiles and spreads his arms. “Congratulations, Jonginnie. You’re looking at someone whose secondary identity is now the _only_ identity.”

His body is shaking uncontrollably, and Jongin clasps his hands together in an effort to hide the trembling. Junmyeon is indeed right when he says that secondary identities are capable of living normal lives: Jongin has known Baekhyun and Junmyeon for years and had never once suspected that there was something off. However, despite the outward appearance of normalcy, the inside is still rotten to the core.

“Ah, come to think of it,” Junmyeon muses, “I’ve been trying to empower Loey to take over as the primary identity for Chanyeol-ssi, but he’s awfully stubborn and wary. He has shown no sign of budging no matter what I tell him.”

The bottom of Jongin’s stomach drops. “You’re a fucking _snake_!” he wheezes.

Junmyeon frowns, but he doesn’t retort and instead looks into Jongin’s eyes as though he’s talking to someone hidden in the depths of Jongin’s mind. “The offer still stands for you, Kai,” he says as he walks behind his desk and opens a drawer. There is a series of clicking sounds as he takes something out and fiddles with it. “Remember, you can accomplish so much more if you become the primary identity. I’m sure you have your own dreams and ideas that you want to see come to life.”

Then, Jongin is thrown into the recesses of his mind, and he can only watch in horror as Kai takes control and faces Junmyeon. There is a mocking smirk on Kai’s face, and Jongin knows that his secondary identity is going to accept, leaving him to rot in his empty dreamscape.

“That’s a very generous offer indeed,” Kai drawls, “but I’m afraid I’m going to decline.”

 _What?_ Jongin asks.

“What?” Junmyeon stops messing with the object in his hands and his brow furrows, unable to understand why Kai would refuse.

The smirk slips off Kai’s face, replaced with a serious expression. “Any resentment I held was resolved years ago. As of now, I’m pretty satisfied with annoying my primary identity for the rest of our life and occasionally taking control to walk around the apartment naked. I like a simple life, you _know_?”

He punctuates his last word by picking up an empty glass that had been sitting on the table and hurling it at Junmyeon. Junmyeon ducks and the glass shatters against the wall behind him, but it buys Kai time to make a break for the door. There is the clack of something hitting the doorframe, and Kai sees the tranquilizer dart fall to the floor out of the corner of his eye. Then, he’s out and running down the hall.

He passes the lounge, and a figure lunges out at him, something silver glinting in its hand. Kai raises his arm to shield his torso, and the knife finds its way into Kai’s forearm.

As though stabbing Kai isn’t enough, Baekhyun’s mouth pulls back in a sneer as he twists the weapon. The pain flares like a flame that had just been doused in gasoline, and Kai stumbles back against the wall with an agonized howl.

Baekhyun yanks the blade from Kai’s arm. “I told you, didn’t I?” he jeers. “I’d make you pay!”

Before Baekhyun can attack him again, Kai drives his foot into Baekhyun’s stomach, sending him careening back into the lounge and landing in the middle of some boxes that lay in the middle of the floor. Pressing his hand to the bleeding wound on his arm, Kai dashes for the front door, only to slow to a halt when someone steps through the door and stares at him in shock.

It’s been ages since Jongin has seen Oh Sehun, and he most certainly hadn’t expected to run into his former patient under circumstances like this. Judging by the look of shock on Sehun’s face, the other hadn’t been expecting to see Jongin either, which is why Jongin yells at Kai to get Sehun to come with them.

“Sehun-ssi, don’t let him get out!” Baekhyun yells from the lounge. He had thrown the knife a couple feet away and is now struggling to get up. “He’s gone crazy! Tried to stab me and got himself instead when I stopped him!”

“Liar!” Kai spits, but Sehun is already looking at him in horror. It’s only luck that the man isn’t brave enough to grab Kai and only shrinks against the wall.

 _What are you doing? Bring him with us!_ Jongin yells when Kai darts past Sehun and escapes out into the street.

 _No can do,_ Kai replies as he flees down the sidewalk to the closest parking lot. _Baekhyun’s already got to him. He thinks we’re the crazies and there’s no way he’d willingly come with us._

The parking lot is full of cars, but Kai remembers where Chanyeol should be parked and runs straight for the location, not bothering to check if there are any cars backing out of their spaces. Chanyeol is scrolling through his phone when Kai arrives, but his head snaps up as soon as Kai’s shadow falls across the car. His eyes widen in alarm when he sees the blood, and he wastes no time in unlocking the car.

“What happened to you?” he cries as soon as Kai slips inside.

“Byun Baekhyun,” Kai manages through gritted teeth. “Hurry up and drive!”

“Seatbelt,” Chanyeol croaks as he starts the car.

Kai grumbles under his breath about not giving a damn about the seatbelt but wears his anyway. Panting, he slumps in his seat with a groan as the effects of the adrenaline starts to fade.

 _I handled the scary part, so you can come deal with the pain,_ Kai grumbles, and it’s the only warning Jongin gets before he’s thrust back in control and the pain hits him like a speeding bus. He gasps and squeezes his arm, doubling over in his seat.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Chanyeol decides. “We gotta tell someone that Baekhyun stabbed you!”

Jongin is in too much pain to argue and lets Chanyeol do all the talking with the hospital staff. He’s thankful when they administer some painkillers, and just as they finish stitching up the wound, an officer shows up, asking to speak with him about his injury.

He tells the officer that Byun Baekhyun had attacked him but keeps the stuff about the Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome to himself. Officers have been known to drop cases involving the syndrome because they’re too prejudiced to get involved, and Jongin fears that if he mentioned the syndrome, then the case would die before it even gets a chance to breathe.

After what feels like eternity, the officer finally thanks Jongin and leaves. Jongin slumps in his seat with a tired sigh, feeling like he could curl up in the uncomfortable, metal chair and sleep a full twenty-four hours.

Chanyeol shuffles up to him. “Come on,” he softly says. “Let’s go home.”

As they sit in traffic, waiting for the light to change, Jongin speaks up, “They’re not going to investigate.”

He sees Chanyeol looking at him in his peripheral vision. “Why do you think that?”

“Junmyeon is going to protect him,” Jongin explains. “I’ve been to conferences and parties with Junmyeon before, and he has a lot of friends, even outside the medical community. He’s going to pull some strings to keep Baekhyun safe. Maybe even turn the investigation on me. Nobody is going to believe me when I say that he’s been pushing people into developing JH Syndrome for his own gain, especially since I don’t have solid proof.”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer, and in the ensuing silence, Jongin can feel the impending doom. He doesn’t have the reputation and power to go up against Kim Junmyeon and come out victorious. Kim Junmyeon could easily land him in a mental institute and leave him there forever.

“You can move to America with me,” Chanyeol suggests, and Jongin looks at him in surprise because he hadn’t even known that Chanyeol is planning to move, but now that he thinks about it, Chanyeol’s apartment has been rather empty compared to a month ago.

“You’re going to America?”

Chanyeol makes an embarrassed sound in the back of his throat. “I’ve been planning it for a while now, actually. Remember what happened at the gala a while ago? Well, the Jangs made sure that everyone knew that I have the JH Syndrome, and I ended up getting fired from my job.” He pauses for a long time, and just when Jongin thinks that he’s not going to continue, Chanyeol adds, “My mom…also disowned me.”

“Oh,” Jongin croaks. “I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol shudders. “It’s fine. Anyway, Korea doesn’t have much for me anymore. I’d rather move somewhere that’s a little more open-minded to start over and get better treatment, and Yura-noona suggested America. She has a friend who moved to New York City a few years ago, and she helped me find a place to rent. Of course, we can’t move to America directly since we don’t have time to get you a visa, but we can stop in Taiwan to buy us some more time.”

Jongin bites his lip. Moving to an entirely different country is a scary thing. He would be leaving behind everything familiar to him: his sisters, his apartment, the café near his home. His English is good enough for the occasional casual conversation, but he’s not sure if he’s ready to live in an English-speaking country.

 _You could also stay and risk facing retaliation from Junmyeon and Baekhyun,_ Kai points out. _New York City, however, is very populated and it would be difficult for them to find you there._

That is enough to convince Jongin. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind living with me?” he asks.

Chanyeol beams and his ears move to accentuate his smile. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

They search for the closest flight to Taiwan, and luckily, there are still a couple of empty seats on the place. Jongin and Chanyeol manage to book them without trouble. The flight is in five days, and in that time, Jongin hurries to sort out everything that needs attention, transferring his prescriptions from his usual pharmacy to a pharmacy in America and letting his sisters and therapist know that he is leaving the country. Chanyeol helps him pack his suitcases, making sure that Jongin has all of the essentials.

They make it to the day of the flight, and Jongin and Chanyeol drag their suitcases behind them as they hurry to catch the plane. Boarding has just started when they arrive at their gate, and the two of them quickly get in line with their tickets in their hands.

As they wait to board, Jongin glances around the airport at everyone else who is hurrying to catch their flights. Most people are wrapped in their own worlds, looking down at their phones or staring out the windows at the airplanes taking off and landing. Jongin, however, meets the gaze of one person and nearly drops his suitcase.

Kim Junmyeon smiles at him from the other side of the room and reaches his arms out as though expecting a hug from Jongin.

Panicking, Jongin glances at Chanyeol, who is busy reading something on his ticket, and looks back at Junmyeon. Relief floods him when he realizes that the person is only someone who looks like Junmyeon. Still holding his arms out, the man bends down and scoops up a little girl, smiling and pecking his daughter on the cheek as his wife joins them. They walk away and disappear around the corner.

The line moves up, and Chanyeol hands his ticket over to the attendant. Jongin casts another glance at the crowd behind him.

Then, it’s his turn. He gives the attendant his ticket, watching as she scans it and hands it back to him. He pockets it and dares one last look at the moving crowd as he and Chanyeol step into the hallway to board the plane.

He feels eyes on him, but Junmyeon isn’t there.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever figures out the flaw in ChanKai's escape plan gets cookies! (Hint: there's a small detail at the beginning of the fic that gives it away.)
> 
> [my curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/xAoneko) || [my twitter](https://twitter.com/xAoneko98)


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